Month: June 2025

How Do You Keep Your Cup Full?

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Self-care is all about keeping your cup full. When your cup is full, not only are you happy, but the people around you get to experience the best of you. Sometimes, people believe that to feel happy, they need to pour into others first, but it’s the other way around. A person who fills their cup first has more to give because they understand the importance of self-care. When we discuss self-care, I want us to see it not as a selfish act but as a form of self-love. It isn’t fair to give your all to everyone but you. Let’s start filling your cup up first.

Sleep Is Self-Care

How much sleep are you getting every night? If it’s less than 7 hours, you might not be getting enough. When we were babies, sleep was crucial for brain development, and even as adults, we still need adequate rest for optimal function. Experts recommend 7-9 hours of sleep daily.

As someone who struggles with insomnia, I know firsthand how important good sleep is. It helps me start my day energized and in a better mood. Without enough sleep, I can become irritable and less focused. To combat this, I’ve developed good sleep hygiene by having a nighttime routine and a consistent sleep schedule. I encourage you to prioritize sleep, as it’s not only essential for health but also a great form of self-care.

Nourish Your Body

How do you take care of your body? I believe diet and exercise play a significant role in our well-being. I’ll admit I’m not the healthiest eater, but I’m conscious about the foods I eat. I find ways to eat more foods that nourish me. They also happen to be foods I like such as apples, bananas, whole grains, and fish. I also want to admit I don’t go to the gym to work out. Instead, I like to use walking as a form of exercise. Taking care of yourself isn’t just about restricting yourself, it’s about adding things to your daily life that benefit you.

Make Time for Joy

When thinking about self-care, consider what you want. What makes you happy? It could be spending time with people you love, a walk in the park, or watching your favorite TV show. Whatever it is, make more time to do things you enjoy. Having fun is self-care. There is a saying: “Work hard, play hard.” We forget the last part, but I encourage you to have more fun in life.

Nurture Fulfilling Relationships

I spent a lot of time talking about things you can do for self-care. But I didn’t want to end without discussing relationships. While self-care is about you, the relationships you have matters too. Who are the people in your life that pour into you? Can you think of one person? When I ask who is pouring into you, I want to know people who support, uplift, and appreciate you. We need to make more time for people like that.

A Final Word on Self-Care

The most powerful way to keep your cup full is through self-care. It is an act of self-love when you take care of your overall health. Start with prioritizing adequate sleep, eating healthier foods, and exercising regularly. Then, make time for activities that bring you joy and surround yourself with uplifting people. By doing these things, you are keeping your cup full. Now, you can pour into others without being emptied. So, what will you do today to start filling your cup?

What Do You Owe Yourself?

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It’s often easier to focus on what others owe you. But what do you owe yourself? This question invites you to look inward and reflect on your needs. If something as small as a plant has several needs, then how much more do you need? Fulfillment begins with self-awareness and a commitment to your emotional well-being. So, what do you owe yourself? Let’s start there.

Fulfillment Starts with You

What do you need to feel fulfilled in a relationship? Knowing the answer to this is one of the first things you owe yourself. When we feel unfulfilled, it is often due to a disconnection from our emotional needs. This disconnection may arise from being unaware of those needs, failing to communicate them, or choosing relationships that cannot fulfill them. In these situations, notice the common denominator: it’s ourselves. What role have you played in creating balanced and reciprocal relationships? Is it time to start giving yourself more of what you need?

Curiosity Over Judgment

We owe ourselves self-acceptance. Although we all have imperfections, they don’t make us less worthy. Accepting yourself doesn’t mean you stop striving to be better; it’s about creating space for our strengths and weaknesses. Viewing your weaknesses as opportunities for learning and growth can be very helpful. You can do this by replacing every judgment you have about yourself with curiosity. What if you were more curious about your flaws? How could that help you see yourself in a more balanced way?

Your Best is Enough

I think too many people are way too hard on themselves. While I believe being accountable for your mistakes is important, I think we can give ourselves more grace. The grace to learn and make better choices. I don’t know anyone perfect because we all fall short in some ways. Our shortcomings remind us that we are human. Instead of striving for perfection, strive for progress. Doing your best is enough.

You Can Handle the Truth

How honest are you about what you want and need? We all have standards, but we might not stick to them. Being flexible is a strength, but could it be holding you back from what you deserve? When we compromise our values, neglect our needs, or struggle to maintain boundaries, we may find ourselves settling for less than we want. Instead of judging yourself, be curious and honest about why this happens. Could it stem from low self-esteem, external pressure, impatience, or even past trauma? You may already know the answer, but are you ready to face it?

A Question to Consider

What do you owe yourself? Have you ever paused to think about that? If not, I invite you to take a moment and reflect. To help you get started, here are a few things you owe yourself: understanding, acceptance, grace, and honesty. You might want to add to this list or create your own. Whenever life feels confusing or overwhelming, remember to ask yourself this question. It might guide you back to where you want to be.

What Are You Ready to Heal?

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Whenever I got a cut and used rubbing alcohol to treat it, I would wince because of the burning sensation. It felt as if the healing process was more painful than the injury itself. The same can be true for emotional wounds. Sometimes, healing from our past is an uncomfortable experience. I believe some people avoid their pain because they’re not ready to face the discomfort. I empathize with you because I have been there. However, taking the first step toward healing requires us to feel the pain.

Acknowledge Your Hurt

I used to avoid thinking about hurtful experiences because I didn’t want to feel sad. But ignoring the way I felt was teaching me to avoid pain. It’s not about reliving the past but about understanding how it’s impacting you now. Have you ever just cried about what happened to you? You might believe not crying makes you a strong person. I want to challenge that by saying strength comes in many forms. A person who knows how to regulate their emotions is the kind of strength you want to have. Take a moment to acknowledge how sad, disappointed, or hurt you were because of what was done or said to you. Now, let’s release these emotions.

Healing Through Expression

When I think of an artist like Adele, I think about how she uses her music to process heartbreak. It made me wonder how healing it can be to express yourself through writing. You don’t have to write a song or perform in front of millions to release pain. You can start by writing a letter about how you feel and the impact of your experiences. You may even address the people who hurt you in the letter. Allow yourself to be raw, honest, and vulnerable. You don’t need to give the letter to the person to heal. Sometimes just writing the letter is enough to release the pain.

You Don’t Have to Heal Alone

Sometimes, we need someone to witness our pain before we can release it. Coregulation is about navigating your emotions with another person. It could be with a therapist, friend, or pastor. Sharing your story with someone who can hold space for it is essential. We don’t have to carry everything alone. Just as a surgeon is needed to stitch deep physical wounds, a therapist can help us process and heal trauma. If you are having a hard time letting go, consider reaching out to a trauma therapist for support.

Healing Takes Time and Commitment

You probably heard the saying time heals all wounds. If this statement is true, then it means the healing doesn’t happen overnight. Some experiences can take a lifetime to heal. I’m not saying this to discourage you but to help you keep things in perspective. Healing is a process that requires patience and commitment. How committed are you to healing your trauma? Some days are going to be tough, but are you willing to persevere to get to your breakthrough? Because on the other side of the pain is the power to overcome it.

The Power of Connection

While healing starts within, the relationships we have can significantly impact our healing journey. When you think about any painful experiences, who did you need, and what did you need at that moment? While we can’t change the past, we can learn from it. Sometimes, our past teaches us what we need by highlighting what we didn’t have. You probably learned from your past what your needs are, what boundaries to have, and what you truly desire. Now, you can use this insight to cultivate relationships that support your well-being. There’s no better feeling than having what you wanted in the past right now.

A Word of Encouragement

If you are reading this post, I want to say I am proud of you. The fact that you are ready to heal is a sign of how brave you are. If you’re not ready yet, I hope you will get there one day. I’ve been on both ends and have immense empathy for people who are on the journey and who aren’t quite ready yet. On the healing journey, I hope that you remember to express yourself, allow others to support you, and be patient with yourself.

How Do You Stop the Inner Critic?

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When it comes to self-esteem, negative self-talk is the most damaging. If we know this to be true, why do we engage in it? It could be because it is familiar. Does it sound like something you heard growing up? You will never amount to anything. You are stupid. You are a bad person. You probably never questioned these beliefs, which is why these beliefs became a part of your identity. None of those hurtful things are true, but because you never challenged those beliefs, they became your inner critic.

Where the Inner Critic Comes From

I think many people don’t challenge their inner critics because it’s almost like challenging their parents. Maybe your parents were critical of you. Or it was your best friend or significant other. Even the people closest to us can say things that are not true or helpful. Your inner critic is the same way. It doesn’t help you to become better, it keeps you small. It is important to challenge those limiting beliefs because they are holding us back from our truest selves. The truth is that we are capable, worthy, and lovable. But until we can stand up to our inner critic, we can’t step into our power.

Let Go of the Mold

Stop allowing low standards to be your identity. There may be a part of you scared of failure, so you don’t challenge yourself. You might also be afraid to be bigger than what people want you to be. It isn’t your responsibility to fit into a mold. It is your birthright to break the mold if that means you can be exactly who you are. I think many struggle with being themselves because they believe, If people knew who I was, they wouldn’t like me. But wouldn’t it be better to be understood than liked? We can’t allow our inner critic to keep us from being who we are.

How Fear Disguises Itself as Safety

At times, the inner critic attempts to protect us, but it does so in a harmful manner. When you think about the negative beliefs that replay in your mind, what about them is keeping you safe? Imagine you have a goal that will allow you to experience a better life, but you are afraid of disappointment. Your inner critic protects you by saying, That’s too hard. You can’t do that. Stick with what you know. This thought process keeps you stuck and keeps you from your full potential. Instead, we might need to embrace fear to get to where we want. It might not be easy, but it is worth it for things you truly desire.

Meet Your Inner Critic with Curiosity

The next time you deal with your inner critic, I want you to be curious. When you have a negative thought, ask yourself “Where does this belief stem from”? You weren’t born thinking this way, so it came from someone. Who was critical of you growing up? These people have now become your inner critic. Then, ask yourself how helpful or true are these thoughts? If it’s not making you feel more capable and worthy it’s probably more harmful than good. Lastly, what is the belief protecting you from? Even playing it safe can cause you to miss out on what you deserve.

You Are Worthy, Capable, and Lovable

We all have an inner critic, but we can’t allow it to keep us small. We are capable, worthy, and lovable. You might read these words and not believe them yet. I completely understand because it took me a while to believe them. They didn’t become true for me because someone said them to me. They became true because I recognized that being human makes me worthy, capable, and lovable. The next time your inner critic says something negative, I hope you remember those words.

What Are Your Emotions Telling You?

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We all have emotions. While we might find it easy to embrace emotions like happiness and excitement, it is important that we don’t avoid emotions like sadness, anger, or frustration. Instead of labeling emotions as positive or negative, it might be more helpful to see them as signals. We need these signals to navigate throughout life. Once we discover the role of our emotions, we can process them in a healthy way.

I didn’t realize that emotions were simply signals until I listened to a 30-part YouTube series on it. Before I watched this series, I judged my feelings. An emotion like sadness was difficult for me to process. When I would feel sad, I didn’t even want to admit it. I believed that admitting I felt sad would make me feel worse. But it was the other way around. By not acknowledging how I felt, I couldn’t process it in a healthy way.

Acceptance

How many of us are afraid to admit how we feel? We often judge ourselves for the emotions we have. But our feelings are signals that help us navigate from where we are to where we want to be. Before we can change how we feel, we must accept how we feel. While some emotions can be challenging or painful, they also provide information. We get to decide how we use the information. I don’t want us to wallow in our feelings but I do want us to acknowledge and accept them.

The Power of Self-Reflection

Once we accept our feelings, it is essential to identify the root cause of them. I felt sad because I was missing out on what matters to me most: meaningful relationships. By taking time to self-reflect, I was able to understand this emotion and what I needed. I know that it might not always be easy to deal with certain emotions but it helps to recognize they are not permanent. The way you feel today can be different from how you feel tomorrow. But we need to be willing to take action to change how we feel.

Change Begins with Awareness

Some emotions linger because we don’t deal with them. I didn’t start feeling happier until I dealt with my unhappiness. I realized that if I wanted to change how I felt, I needed to change the way I behaved. Emotions often motivate us to change our behavior. When we think about how we feel, we might consider what actions can we take to feel better. It could be talking to a friend, doing something we enjoy, or stepping outside of our comfort zone. I realized that if I wanted to feel happier I needed to be more intentional and socially active.

Take Action

I can’t say I never feel sad anymore, but it is not as much as I used to. I realized that it was because I was willing to take action to change how I felt. I set a goal to be more outgoing this year, and I’ve been consistent with this goal. It hasn’t been easy because it requires me to step outside my comfort zone. It is easier to get stuck in what you know than to explore what you don’t know. I found it helpful to acknowledge the anxiety and also recognize the opportunity for better relationships. I could face my fears, knowing that my efforts would eventually pay off.

Emotions Are Signals

If you are anything like I used to be, you probably have a hard time dealing with your emotions in a healthy way. But I want to remind you that our emotions are just signals guiding us from where we are to where we want to be. When we accept the signal, we gain information that can help us feel better. No emotion lasts forever. But to begin changing how we feel, we must recognize what we’re feeling, understand why, and then take action toward change. If you can do these things, you can navigate through your emotions in a healthy way.

How Do You Navigate After a Milestone?

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Milestones are significant moments that we experience throughout life. While they can be exciting, they are often followed by uncertainty. I think about graduating from high school, getting accepted into college, starting my first full-time job, and paying off my student loans. As I get older, I continue to experience new milestones, but the in-between moments were the most challenging to navigate. If I knew then what I know now, I’d tell myself to celebrate my achievements, reflect on my journey, and embrace new beginnings. While I am grateful for the milestones I reached, I needed to learn how to enjoy the journey.

Achieving a Milestone

I remember the day I graduated college as one of the proudest moments of my life. It was an unforgettable moment because I accomplished something my parents had never done. After years of hard work, I earned a bachelor’s degree. I had finished school, but now I was stepping into the unknown. I graduated from college without a job lined up, but I had an interview scheduled for the following week. Thankfully, I landed the job and started working weeks later. Looking back, I wish I had taken more time to appreciate what I had accomplished. Being the first comes with immense pressure, and I wish I had taken more time to celebrate myself.

Celebrating Achievements

When you think about the things you accomplished, how did you celebrate? Sometimes, celebrating our milestones can help us to savor the moment. I can admit I haven’t always celebrated milestones. But I think it’s something I could benefit from. I believe having a celebration reminds you of what you’ve accomplished. It isn’t just about checking a box and moving on to the next thing. It’s about taking time to show yourself appreciation for all you’ve done. Whether you celebrate by having a party or treating yourself to something nice, make sure it’s special. You deserve to be celebrated and take each milestone as an opportunity to do so.

Self-reflecting

After celebrating, it is essential to reflect on our journey. Often, we are so focused on where we want to go that we don’t appreciate where we are. Where we are is more important than where we want to go. Our current path is what helps us move to the next level. I believe self-reflection can help us navigate after milestones. By reflecting on our experiences, we can learn valuable lessons that help us continue moving forward.

Embracing New Beginnings

An ending is a new beginning. Milestones are great, but they are only moments throughout life. These moments don’t last forever, which is why it is important to be open to new experiences. I think many people struggle with uncertainty and are afraid of what’s next. But change is what keeps life exciting and helps you evolve. While I understand how good it feels to reach certain milestones, I also recognize the shift that takes place. You are somewhere you’ve never been before and now have an opportunity to experience something new.

Enjoying Every Moment

Milestones will occur throughout our lives, and it is essential that we know how to navigate through them. Life isn’t just about what we accomplish but how we choose to enjoy our lives. Through each milestone, I hope that you remember to celebrate, reflect, and embrace change. It’s so easy to get caught up in what’s next that we forget to appreciate what’s now. Milestones are simply small moments that add up to something bigger. Make sure to enjoy each moment.

What Keeps You Hopeful During Dark Times?

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As someone who has experienced dark moments, I recognize the importance of remaining hopeful. When I was going through depression as a young adult, hope was something that kept me alive. While it was agonizing to deal with the symptoms of depression, I had hope that someday things would get better for me. Over time, things changed for me. I felt more in control of the life I wanted. If I could overcome depression, I could be hopeful that everything else was possible. If hope could pull me out of a dark place, it could also take me to a brighter future. When I feel discouraged, I remind myself to be hopeful.

Because I’m predisposed to depression, being hopeful during difficult times doesn’t always come naturally. However, I also recognize that I can choose to be optimistic despite how I feel. There are things that I can do to feel better, and it starts with my mindset. I have control over my thoughts and the actions I take. I also remind myself that whatever I am going through is happening right now. This shift keeps me grounded in the present rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

I have experienced highs and lows throughout life. More important than what I was going through was how I responded to my circumstances. I have a right to feel sad, disappointed, and discouraged. I also have a right to feel happy, grateful, and hopeful. Regardless of my emotions, I still have a choice. Some days, I feel down, but I still choose to do things I enjoy. I have learned that I can either have hope because of my circumstances or despite them.

While change is inevitable, it doesn’t always happen overnight. I am learning to have faith in the things I hope for. When things don’t happen as I expect, I tend to question if they will ever happen. This mindset has left me discouraged about the future. Instead, I focus on what I desire and remind myself it is still possible. The quickest way to lose hope is to doubt what is possible. The fastest way to gain hope is to believe in what is possible. I have learned to embrace the latter.

When I think of the most inspirational people, one thing I have noticed is their hope. People like Martin Luther King Jr gave a message of hope during unfathomable times. He had a dream that one-day things would be different. If he could have hope then, I can have hope now. It may not always be easy, but seeing leaders before me have it reminds me how important it is to remain hopeful. I choose hope because I see how far it can take you. Hope is often the catalyst for change.

When I wrote this post, I had one thing in mind. Hope. Hope is what keeps me going during hard times. I needed something to remind me of the importance of hope. I also wanted to share my story of hope and encourage you. Despite what you are going through, I hope you know things can change. Hope can take you far if you allow it.