Category: Mindset

When you look at your life, are you happy with where you are? If you answered no, have you ever considered the beliefs that might be holding you back? Limiting beliefs can be detrimental to you achieving your goals and dreams. I want to help you identify common beliefs that may prevent you from having the life you want. 

Belief 1: Things Will Never Change

When you get used to things not going your way, it is easy to believe that is how it will always be. You desire change, but you do not believe it is possible. Often, change starts with you. It requires you to change before you can see the change around you. No matter how long things have been a certain way, the possibility for change is always there. Believe that things can change—and that you have the power to make it happen.

Belief 2: I Will Be Happy When….

You might think you’ll be happy when you meet the right person, land that promotion, or buy a house. But what is stopping you from being happy right now? Because external things only play a small percentage in our happiness. The happiness you cultivate from within has a greater impact. There is nothing wrong with wanting more, but I believe it is important to understand that long-term happiness comes from within.

You can experience more happiness by being grateful for what you have right now. You can also increase your happiness by making choices that align with your values, not a particular outcome. Consider what values you want to prioritize more in your life. Instead of depending on external things to make you happy, consider some choices you can make today that will make you happier. 

Belief 3: Asking for Help Is a Sign of Weakness

While being ambitious and independent are great qualities, there are times when reaching out for support is necessary. It is okay to ask for help, and it does not make you less capable. When you ask for help, it allows you to learn and grow. By seeking guidance, you gain the support of those who have already achieved what you’re striving for. Instead of seeing help as a weakness, see it as a strength. You recognize you want to grow and are willing to learn from others. That sounds like a strength to me. 

Belief 4: I Should Be Further Along 

This belief often stems from the regret you have about the past. You might regret not working on a particular goal sooner. Instead of dwelling on the past, learn from it. Recognize that you did your best and be grateful for the opportunity to do better. Each day you have can be another day you can work towards getting to where you want to be. You might believe that you should be further along, but maybe you are exactly where you are meant to be. At this moment, you have a clear sense of where you want to go and can start taking steps to get there.

Belief 5: My Worth Is External

If I asked what makes you worthy, where would your mind go? Does it go to how attractive you are, how many friends you have, the car you drive, the amount of money you make, or your significant other? While these things can add value to your life, they don’t add value to who you are. These are all external things and are subject to change at any moment. Thankfully, your worth is internal and it doesn’t change. You are worthy because you are a living being. As long as you are alive, you will always be worthy.

New Beliefs 

Your beliefs shape the way you experience life. If you find that you are not experiencing the life you want, examine your beliefs. Recognize beliefs that may be limiting you and replace them with new beliefs that serve you in a powerful way. You can change your life by changing what you believe about yourself. Here are some new beliefs I hope you can adopt.

• I am capable of change
• My worth is innate
• I am where I am meant to be
• I can cultivate happiness from within
• Asking for help is a strength

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Reflecting on my life, I feel content with where I am. But I remember a time when I wasn’t. I believed that life would be better if things went my way. Although external circumstances can impact our happiness, they do so only to a small degree. I eventually realized that if I wanted to experience lasting happiness, I needed to take accountability for my choices.

Taking Accountability

I am responsible for where I am. Yes, there were things I could not control, but I was in control of my choices. Avoiding the unknown kept me stuck in what I knew. Not communicating my needs led to unfulfilling relationships. Doubting myself prevented me from taking risks. Holding on to old beliefs hindered my growth. If I wanted better, I had to make better choices.

Making Good Choices

I remember how quitting a toxic job opened the door to a better career. Starting my blog allowed me to live out my purpose. Ending a friendship sparked self-discovery and growth. These choices aligned with the life I wanted to live. I made them because I believed I deserved better.

Changing My Beliefs

I did not always believe I could have what I wanted. I didn’t always believe I was worthy of it. I didn’t always believe I could change. These beliefs led me to make choices that didn’t align with what I wanted. If I wanted to change where I was, I had to make a new choice. If I wanted to make a new choice, I had to change how I saw myself. If I wanted to change how I saw myself, I had to believe I was worthy. 

Knowing My Values

I have learned that inner happiness comes from making choices that align with my values. While knowing my values is one thing, living them out in my daily life is another. I’m becoming more accountable for what truly matters to me and now understand which values I need to prioritize. I see how my values are instrumental in guiding me to make better decisions, and I am actively learning to make choices that align with what I value most.

Takeaway

I realized that I have the power to change my life, and it started with being accountable for my choices. Below are questions I have found helpful in evaluating my life and choices. I hope you can recognize how powerful choices are and create a life you are worthy of having. 

• What choices have I made to get to where I want to be? 
• What choices can I make to get to where I want to be? 
• What choices have I made prevent me from getting to where I want to be? 
• What values do I need to prioritize more in my life? 
• What beliefs are preventing me from having the life I want? 
• What beliefs can help me create the life I want?
• How well do my choices align with my top values? 

Sadness is a feeling that many people find uncomfortable to experience. It is known as one of the negative emotions we have as human beings. But sadness is just an emotion. Sure, it is uncomfortable, but it serves a purpose. I am learning that sadness can remind me of what I need and want. When processing an emotion like sadness, it is helpful to acknowledge sadness, identify the cause, reframe your perspective, practice gratitude, focus on your values, and get support. 

Allow Yourself to Feel Sad

Sadness can feel so uncomfortable that you might want to avoid it. I will admit I don’t like to feel sad, but I realize that it is an emotion that serves a function. When I feel sad, I recognize that it can be a reminder of what matters to me. One of the first things you can do to self-regulate your emotions is to acknowledge them. You might judge an emotion like sadness as negative. The judgment you have about certain emotions may prevent you from processing them. Instead, see emotions as an opportunity to gain insight. Emotions are also temporary. Once you get the information you need, you can allow it to serve you.

Give Context to Your Sadness

One of the most common reasons people feel sad is because of loneliness. I recognize that the sadness I was experiencing was reminding me that I needed to prioritize social connections. When processing sadness, it is helpful to identify experiences that may be causing this feeling. Other common reasons people feel sad are due to a breakup, the death of a loved one, job loss, or life changes. Consider journaling your feelings and the reasons behind them.

Reframe Your Perspective

The way you think affects the way you feel. You can change how you feel by asking yourself what is another way I can see this? You might be sad about a recent breakup, but have you considered the lessons you learned from the relationship? You can take what you learn into your new relationship and create an even better experience. It is also important to recognize how you feel is temporary. You feel sad right now. Adding right now to the end of this sentence can help you recognize that it is not permanent. You can take action to change how you feel. 

Focus on Your Values 

Sadness can remind you what you need and want more of in life. For example, feeling sad about the end of a relationship can remind you that you value meaningful connections. You can find ways to get this value met by taking actions that help you to build meaningful connections. Consider joining clubs or activities that interest you, attending social events, and spending time with friends and family.

Practice Gratitude 

Practicing gratitude is another way you can change your perspective. Write down 5-10 things you are grateful for. This practice can foster a more positive outlook, which can help you feel better. By shifting your attention to something positive, you are changing your focus. When you change your focus to something more positive, you feel more empowered to take action to fix what is causing you sadness.

Get Support

If you’re struggling, reach out to family and friends for support. Although you feel alone, you are not alone. People want to support you. Admitting when you feel sad allows others to help you. If you notice your sadness persists for longer than two weeks, it might be time to seek professional help from a therapist.

Final Takeaway

Sadness is an emotion that may not be easy to process. However, it is an emotion that serves as a function to guide you back to what you need. If you want this guidance, be willing to sit in the discomfort. It might be hard, but acknowledge your sadness. Next, write down what is causing you sadness. Then, reframe your perspective. You can do this by focusing on the lessons and practicing gratitude. Last but not least, reach out for support. You are not alone, and there is help available for you. 

Everyone has a comfort zone, but many people find it challenging to step outside of it. If you are not careful, you can allow your need for comfort to hold you back. Consequently, you might miss out on opportunities that can help you to grow. Or you might even miss out on having an exciting life. It is okay to feel uncomfortable, but do not allow it to get in the way of where you want to be. To experience love, success, and fulfillment, stepping out of your comfort zone is essential. While I acknowledge the importance of this, I also understand that it can be challenging. The key is to be comfortable being uncomfortable. 

Accept The Discomfort

Some people stay in their comfort zone because they dislike feeling uncomfortable. It can be the fear of the unknown that holds them back. You might have a good life, but you want more. You want to feel fulfilled, but you are afraid of going after what you want because you do not want to be disappointed. You might even be bored with your day-to-day routine, but it is familiar. You would rather stay in what you know than what you do not know. The first step to leaving your comfort zone is accepting the discomfort.

What If?

You might want to try something new, but think, “What if I don’t like it? What if I have a bad experience? What if it does not go the way I planned? What if I fail?” These thoughts often give you a sense of control over the outcome, but you can not always control what happens. You can control your thoughts and, more importantly, which thoughts you focus on. Imagine if you replaced those negative scenarios with positive outcomes instead.

Shift Your Mindset 

When you feel uncomfortable, it can be easy to imagine things going wrong. But have you ever considered that things can go well? Often, your anxiety can keep you safe from potential threats. But then there are other times it keeps you from your potential. The way you think affects the way you behave. If you want to feel more confident, it starts with thinking more helpful and positive thoughts. Replace “What if I fail”? with “What if I succeed?” “What if I have a bad experience?” with “What if I have a good experience?” When you have a more positive outlook, you can push past the discomfort to get where you want to be. 

Develop a Growth Mindset 

Although you can have a positive mindset, that does not guarantee that the outcome will go your way. Sometimes, you can have a positive outlook and be disappointed. I believe people stay in their comfort zone because they believe they can not handle the disappointment. That is known as a fixed mindset. Although you have limitations, you are capable of growth. You can develop your skills. You can change your mindset. You can change your behavior. You can go beyond who you are and become who you want to be. A growth mindset is allowing yourself to be better and do better. 

Practice Self-Compassion

When you practice self-compassion, you build your self-esteem. When you have high self-esteem, you have confidence in yourself. This confidence is essential to getting out of your comfort zone. It is also important to embrace your imperfections. Instead of being critical of yourself, be more understanding of who you are. Sometimes, you might revert to what is familiar because it is more comfortable. Be patient with yourself because change takes time. Acknowledge your progress instead of focusing on being perfect.

Be Consistent

If you make stepping outside your comfort zone a habit, it can become second nature. It can start small, like ordering something new for lunch. We are creatures of habit and wire to like what is familiar. The good news is that the more we get out of our comfort zone, the more it becomes familiar. The more familiar it becomes, the easier it is to become a new habit. Consider small ways you can get out of your comfort zone regularly. Keep track of each time you step outside your comfort zone. Reflecting on these moments can help you feel more confident and motivated to try new things.

Remember Your Why

I know how challenging it is to get outside your comfort zone, and anxiety has often prevented me from being open to trying new things. When I feel anxious, I consider why I am taking action to get out of my comfort zone. I recognize that the desire to reach a goal or experience something new is worth the discomfort. I want a fulfilling life, which means stepping outside my comfort zone. It does not necessarily mean it is easy, but it does hold me accountable for creating the life I want. Consider what you value most and allow this to motivate you to step out of your comfort zone. 

Final Thoughts 

I have a confession. I wrote this post to help me get outside my comfort zone. I understand firsthand how hard it can be. I also recognize that I am capable of getting past the discomfort and I believe you can too. The first key is to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. You can do this by shifting your mindset, developing a growth mindset, practicing self-compassion, staying consistent, and remembering the why. 

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Rejection can be difficult for anyone to experience, even though it is a normal part of life. We might face social rejection, professional rejection, or even romantic rejection. These types of rejections can cause sadness, disappointment, or even anger. We can overcome these emotions associated with rejection by accepting how we feel, not taking it personally, recognizing the opportunity for growth, and persevering.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

Rejection can come with heavy emotions like sadness. Imagine being stood up for a date with someone you were interested in. Feeling sad about that is a normal reaction. Or even getting overlooked for a promotion you worked hard for. Feeling frustrated about that is natural. Whatever feelings you have are valid. Dealing with rejection can be difficult, but acknowledging the pain can help you move forward. Recognize that emotions are just information to help you process the world around you. Take time to process how you feel and be compassionate with yourself. Allow your emotions to guide you, but don’t let them control you. You are in control of how you feel.

Don’t Take Rejection Personally

Rejection can be painful but do not take it personally. Rejection does not define your value as a person. When we experience rejection, we might believe something is wrong with us. We might even question how worthy we are. Our worth is innate and not dependent on the approval of others. We are enough as we are.

Facing rejection from a job you wanted might make you question your value. But maybe they saw your value but chose someone who was the best fit. In this scenario, it is not about being enough. It is about picking the best fit for the job. Getting rejected is part of the process when putting yourself out there. But it does not have to be detrimental to your self-esteem. Recognize that not every opportunity or person is the right fit for you.

Recognize the Opportunity

Rejection can be an opportunity for growth. Although you may believe you deserve something, you may not be ready for what you want. You may desire to be in a relationship, but how prepared are you for it? Although a relationship has its perks, it also comes with challenges. Being in a relationship takes work and the willingness to do what is required to make it successful. While dating, you might experience rejection but see it as an opportunity to grow. You can use dating to improve your communication skills. Communication is at the core of a healthy relationship. Developing your communication skills during dating is crucial for understanding your partner’s needs and managing conflicts.

Don’t Give Up

Rejection is only temporary. You can get through it if you continue to persevere. You might have wanted that relationship, job, car, or house, but you didn’t get it. Guess what? It is still possible to have what you want if you don’t give up. You must press on and keep going, reminding ourselves that you are worth having what you want.

Pushing past the rejection can also lead you to an even better outcome. You can also use rejection as motivation. When you don’t get the outcome you want, you can remind yourself that maybe something better is around the corner. Rejection doesn’t have to make you question your worth. It can be a reminder of how worthy you are. Don’t give up. Keep going. You are one step closer to what you desire.

Rejection happens to all of us at some point in life, but it does not define our worth. You may feel sad about rejection but do not internalize it. Instead, see it as an opportunity to grow and continue to persevere. You are worth having what we want. If you haven’t gotten what you want yet, maybe there is something better.

Disappointment is a common experience, whether it’s a failed relationship, a missed job opportunity, or an event that didn’t go as planned. How we respond to disappointment shapes our ability to move forward. Here are effective strategies to help you bounce back.

Acknowledge Your Emotions

Recognizing your feelings is crucial when dealing with disappointment. Emotions like sadness, anxiety, or fear are natural. Rather than deeming them as negative, use them to guide you. Express how you feel by journaling or talking to someone you trust. Allowing yourself to express an emotion can help you to move forward.

Re-Evaluate Your Expectations

Disappointment often arises from unmet expectations. Life is unpredictable, so it’s essential to manage your expectations. Assess what’s realistic; for instance, you may be excited about a concert, but the weather is bad that day. The likelihood of concert cancellation is high. Instead of focusing on the disappointment from the canceled concert, consider ways you can be flexible. Maybe you can attend the concert on a different date or use the refund for something else you enjoy.

Accept What Has Happened

Acceptance is key to moving forward. Disappointment is a part of life, and resisting it can lead to stagnation. Accepting the outcome of a job rejection or the end of a relationship allows you to shift your focus to new opportunities. Embrace the moment by saying, “I accept what I cannot change and focus on what I can control.”

Learn from the Experience

Disappointment can be a powerful teacher. After not securing a summer internship, I focused on what I could control—researching companies, practicing interviews, and refining my resume. This proactive approach ultimately led me to a better job. Recognize that your worth isn’t tied to external outcomes, and use setbacks as a chance to grow.

Stay Hopeful for the Future

Maintaining hope is vital. Remember that setbacks are often temporary and can lead to better opportunities. A job rejection might redirect you to a role with better benefits, or a painful breakup may lead you to discover your true needs and values, resulting in a healthier relationship later. Reflecting on past disappointments that turned into positives can help foster a more optimistic outlook.

By employing these strategies, you can navigate disappointment effectively and emerge stronger. Every setback is an opportunity for growth, guiding you toward a more fulfilling future.

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In a study, participants connected to an electric shock device showed higher anxiety levels when told there was a 50% chance of receiving a shock compared to those informed of a 100% chance. The study proves that humans typically prefer certainty to uncertainty. Despite life’s unpredictability, we have coping strategies. Handling uncertainty includes staying present, focusing on what we can control, challenging negative thoughts, and taking decisive actions.

Some situations that might cause uncertainty include starting a new relationship, moving to another city, or changing jobs. Uncertainty can cause uncomfortable emotions like fear and anxiety. One way we can deal with uncertainty is by accepting how we feel. While confronting anxiety can be unsettling, it is a natural part of the human experience.

Sometimes, we feel afraid when things are unfamiliar. We may avoid uncertain situations due to fear of disappointment. We must allow ourselves to be present with our emotions. Although it may feel uncomfortable to confront our feelings, this practice helps us develop self-regulation skills. Self-regulation is crucial for effectively navigating uncertain situations. By accepting our feelings, we become better equipped to respond. The next time uncertainty arises, stay present with your feelings.

The Locus of Control

Our aversion to uncertainty often stems from an inability to control external factors. We desire to dictate outcomes, yet external factors remain beyond our grasp. However, we can influence results through our actions, thoughts, and perspectives. To manage uncertainty, exercise your locus of control: take a sheet of paper, fold it down the middle, and list the uncontrollable factors on one side and the controllable ones on the other. Concentrate on the latter. This exercise can reduce anxiety, shift your mindset, and improve problem-solving abilities.

Challenge Catastrophic Thinking

Reflect on the last time you felt uncertain. What thoughts did you have? Often, when we feel unsure about things, we tend to catastrophize. Imagining the worst case scenario is a cognitive distortion. Some examples of this are the what-if statements. What if my relationship ends? What if I lose my job? What if I fail? What if this does not work out?

We attempt to control the situation by expecting the worst as a way to prepare ourselves. But this technique can cause more harm than good. Instead, we can acknowledge the possibility of things working out. What if the relationship lasts? What if I get a better job? What if I succeed? Alternatively, you can replace “What if” statements with “Even if” statements. Even if I lose my job, I will find another. Even if the relationship ends, I will be okay. Even if I make mistakes, I will learn from them.

Take Action

It might be tempting to procrastinate when uncertain, but this is a form of self-sabotage. Instead, we can take action even if we are unsure of the outcome. The purpose of taking action is to get comfortable making decisions even during times of uncertainty. The action you take might require some level of risk. It takes a risk to put yourself out there, but on the other hand, it could be an opportunity to have what you want. Starting a business, moving to a new city, or beginning a relationship entails risk, but each offers a chance to pursue your vision, embrace a fresh start, or meet someone special. Before you avoid things that feel risky, consider the opportunity. 

Life can be uncertain, but with the right tools, you can manage it. Though the future is unknown, focusing on the present allows us to respond effectively. To navigate uncertainty, stay present, focus on what is controllable, challenge negative thoughts, and take courageous action.

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I’ve heard only 10 percent of life is determined by what happens to you, and the remaining 90 percent is how you react to those events. I was skeptical because I believed the event had more influence on how I reacted. However, I have realized that my perception of the events shaped my reactions. I have learned to experience life differently by developing an internal locus of control. I had to shift from powerless to powerful. The way we move to a place of empowerment is through emotional resilience. The best ways to develop emotional resilience involve assessing our self-image, being optimistic, letting go of a victim mentality, and seeking support.

Cultivating a Positive Self-Image

Building emotional resilience is about having that inner voice that says I can get through this. I refuse to be defined by my circumstances. I have supportive people who can help me. I trust myself to make the right decisions. When you find yourself doubting your capabilities, challenge those beliefs. Often, the limitations we might have stem from past experiences. Fortunately, we can go beyond who we have been and become who we want to be. You might have felt powerless in the past, but you can feel powerful today. I encourage you to embrace the power that lies within. 

Embracing Optimism

Another way to build emotional resilience is by having an optimistic outlook. When you direct your attention to the things going well in your life, you cultivate a positive mindset. We cannot control external factors, but we can control our perspective. One way to increase optimism is by being grateful. The end of a relationship can be heartbreaking but having gratitude can help you move forward. You can be grateful for the lessons you learn. Appreciate the positive memories you’ve shared. Embrace the opportunity to focus on yourself. Be thankful for the chance to have a new relationship that surpasses your wildest imagination.

Letting Go of the Victim Mentality

We can also cultivate resilience when we let go of the victim mentality. A common belief associated with a victim mentality is terrible things are always happening to me. I have no choice about what happens to me. Others are to blame for my adversaries. You may even ask yourself why me? It may be helpful to consider more empowering questions like:

• What can I learn from this?
• How can I use this to transform?
• What actions can I take to make this better?
• What can I do differently to get a favorable outcome?
• What can I control in this situation?

A victim mentality is often the result of past trauma. With the help of a licensed therapist, you can heal from painful experiences. As you begin to heal, you can reclaim your power by speaking up and taking responsibility for what is in your control.

Building Supportive Relationships

Lastly, we can increase our resilience by being around supportive people. Individuals who listen with empathy and offer encouragement are essential to helping us during challenges. Take time to evaluate your support system to ensure you have people in your life who have your best interest at heart. You can find support through church, friends, family, mentors, teachers, therapists, support groups, online communities, and hotlines. Many people are willing to offer assistance. Seeking help can often result in receiving support. As you feel supported, you build the strength to overcome challenges. 

Change Starts with You

You may believe to experience a better life, things around you need to change. But the truth is that change starts with you. You have to change your locus of control. Having an internal locus of control will help you to experience life differently. Life is happening for you and not happening to you. This mindset can help you to build resilience and move from powerless to powerful. Remember that resilience develops as you assess your self-image, become optimistic, let go of a victim mentality, and seek support.

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In the past, I perceived challenges as roadblocks rather than stepping stones. It was not until I adopted a growth mindset I could view challenges as an opportunity to grow rather than an obstacle to overcome. Life inevitably presents circumstances beyond our control, but we can choose how we respond. Focusing on what you can control, adopting a growth mindset, and seeking help are essential to overcoming challenges.

A Personal Experience

If I think back to a challenge I encountered, one that comes to mind is when I was having a tough time in one of my college classes. After failing several quizzes, it seemed impossible to pass the class. I believed I couldn’t improve my performance and felt discouraged. Given my commitment to academic excellence, performing poorly on quizzes motivated me to seek tutoring. The personalized support from the tutor allowed me to ask questions comfortably and grasp the material better. I’m pleased to share that I passed the class because I actively worked on improving my understanding of the material.

Shift Your Focus

I believe having an internal locus of control contributed to my improved performance on the tests. I noticed positive changes when I put my energy and effort into what I could control. I considered utilizing my teachers’ office hours to review questions I got incorrect. While I couldn’t control the test material, I could control my study habits. Additionally, I had control over how I interpreted my test results. It can be beneficial to draw a Venn diagram of what is in your control and what is not in your control. This way, you can focus on what you can control.

Develop A Growth Mindset

I could have benefited from a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset during college. A growth mindset is about considering the possibilities. Each quiz allowed me to recognize areas where studying was needed. It was also an opportunity to seek assistance from someone more experienced. Reflecting on past challenges you have successfully overcome can offer solace when confronting new hurdles. Recognize that previous successes demonstrate your capability to tackle difficulties. Your resilience grows with each obstacle you conquer. Like a flower, it requires sunlight and rain to blossom. Imagine sunlight as a positive outlook and rain as a challenge; these elements often foster growth.

The Importance of a Support Network

As a first-generation college student, the support of my teachers, peers, friends, family, and mentors was instrumental in my journey to graduation. They assisted me during periods of personal and academic difficulties. My teachers’ open-door policy enabled me to express my concerns freely. I thrived in study groups with peers while mentors provided valuable resources. Friends and family offered emotional support. A strong support network is essential for overcoming obstacles. I encourage you to seek help when necessary. People and resources can support you through tough times.

Take Control of Your Life

Challenges are a natural aspect of life, but our reaction is within our control. While external factors are beyond our control, we have control over our thoughts and actions. The most effective way to deal with challenges is to focus on what is in your locus of control. You can achieve this by embracing a growth mindset and reaching out when you need help. Challenges can be the catalyst for growth with the right mindset.

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I remember one night having a dream about my teeth falling out. I was anxious about starting this blog, and my dream was letting me know I needed to address this. Psychologist Sigmund Freud described dreams as the road to the unconscious. Often, our dreams give us information from our unconscious mind that can help us resolve an issue in our waking life. The reason I was having this dream was because I felt afraid. However, I did not allow my fear to stop me. The most effective method to overcoming fear involves acknowledging it, identifying the source, shifting your attention, and facing it.

The Brain’s Fear Center

One of the reasons humans experience fear is because of a small region in our brain known as the amygdala. It is responsible for processing emotions such as fear. It plays an essential role in our survival and helps signal potential threats. I’ll admit feeling afraid is uncomfortable, but that doesn’t make it a bad emotion. According to psychologist Emma McAdam, our emotions serve three functions. They warn, motivate, and connect us. My emotion was warning me about a perceived threat.

The Source of Fear

The source of my fear was causing me to doubt myself. I noticed I was not as excited about the blog. I felt more anxious about how people would respond. I started to question myself and procrastinate more. I even faced writer’s block. It was clear the source of my fear was the approval of others and the limiting beliefs I had of myself. Once I realized that the way I was thinking was causing me to experience anxiety, I shifted my focus. I reassured myself that my blog holds valuable content, and it will resonate with the right audience.

Choose Courage

When I started focusing on the possibilities of making a positive impact, it motivated me to move forward. There are two types of motivations in psychology. The action we take to achieve a goal is known as approach motivation. The action we take to avoid an outcome is known as avoidance motivation. Although avoidance can help alleviate our fears in the short term, the fear remains until we confront it.

Courage is essential to confronting our fears. Exposure therapy can be helpful in this situation. The idea is that as we get more exposure to what we fear, our anxiety lessens in the long run. Before starting this blog, there were many times I found the courage to confront my fear. Having overcome my fears in the past, I felt more confident I would succeed with this blog.

Final Thoughts

It is human nature to feel afraid from time to time. Instead of allowing this fear to stop us, we acknowledge that it is there. Next, we identify the source of the fear. Then, we refocus our attention. Finally, we confront the fear. The idea of starting a blog was exciting yet scary for me. I was able to face this fear because I realized that desire was more important than fear. The desire to help people was all the motivation I needed to start my blog.