We can’t change the past, but we can change the future. It starts with the choices we make today. We can’t move forward until we understand what’s holding us back. By reflecting on our past relationships, we can identify patterns of behavior and limiting beliefs that may be keeping us from healthier and happier connections. Repeatedly choosing people who aren’t a good fit often highlights an unhealthy pattern. When we become self-aware and understand our worth, our choices align with our standards rather than just our interests.
Choose People Who Fit Your Standards
Before entering any relationship, the most important lesson to remember is your worth and values. How many of us have been in a relationship where we compromised our standards because we forgot how worthy we are? What happens when you like someone, but they don’t respect your boundaries? There is an inner conflict because your feelings and your standards aren’t in alignment. Sometimes, we get caught up in our emotions that we forget our standards. We don’t have to choose between how we feel and what we want. We can have both. We can have a person who likes us and treats us kindly. It’s about choosing people who fit our standards, not changing our standards to fit the person.
Be Open and Curious
The best way to approach relationships is with openness and curiosity. Be open to sharing who you are and curious about learning who they are. We do this by asking questions, sharing experiences, and observing behaviors. Just because we like someone doesn’t mean we should date them, and just because we enjoy someone’s company doesn’t mean they’ll make a good friend. People reveal themselves over time, and it’s up to us to pay attention to what we notice. Once we realize that they are not in alignment with what we value, it’s time to move on.
Know Your Worth
When we know our worth, we’re less likely to settle for less than what we deserve. Ending relationships can be challenging because we invested time, developed feelings, and formed expectations of what could have been. But there’s no guarantee that the relationship will work out. As hard as the grief is, it’s part of the process of opening our hearts and letting someone in. When things don’t work out, we take lessons and make space for what we want.
Identify Your Dealbreakers
The foundation for better relationships is self-awareness and self-worth. When we can remember who we are and our values, we make space for more fulfilling relationships. The next time you are interested in a relationship with someone, ask yourself what dealbreakers you notice. If there are any, let it go. By doing this one thing, we are honoring ourselves and setting the standards for our future relationships.