Often referred to as the “green-eyed monster,” jealousy is usually seen as a negative emotion. We tend to assume that feeling jealous means we are insecure. But could it be deeper than that? Could it be we’re afraid of losing something valuable? This emotion doesn’t come up to remind us of how insecure we are, but to protect us from loss.
Approaching Jealousy with Curiosity
How is jealousy defined? It is an emotional response that arises when a person fears losing something they value. Think about the last time you felt jealous. Was it when your manager praised another team member, and you worried about your job security? Or when your best friend started spending more time with someone else, and you feared losing your closeness? Jealousy is a protective way of saying I’m afraid of losing something I care about. Instead of judging this emotion, let’s approach it with curiosity.
Turning Jealousy into Insight
Jealousy can reveal what truly matters to us. Think about the last time you felt jealous and what caused that emotion. Maybe it was when a new hire received praise from your manager, and you worried your contributions were being overlooked. That moment can show how much you value recognition, security, and your role at work. By approaching jealousy with curiosity instead of judgment, we gain insight into ourselves and can make choices that better support our growth.
Remembering What Matters
Jealousy is one emotion that many of us don’t like admitting we feel, but acknowledging it can set us free. Instead of ignoring it, we can use jealousy as a tool for insight and personal growth. Think back to the last time you felt jealous and ask yourself what you were afraid of losing? Sometimes we just need to be reminded of what matters to us.