As much as I can appreciate what this holiday represents, I haven’t always felt excited about it. I remember comparing myself to others and feeling left out when I didn’t get anything for Valentine’s Day. I used to believe that if I didn’t get a gift, it meant I wasn’t special, which often left me feeling sad. Fortunately, I’ve learned to process this emotion in a healthy way. So instead of criticizing the holiday, I want to use this post to explore our uncomfortable emotions. Because as much as we think it’s about the day, it’s so much deeper.
Learning to Sit With Sadness
You’re allowed to feel sad on Valentine’s Day. As a teenager, I struggled with this emotion, especially on that day. I told myself I should feel special, but I didn’t realize that feeling special didn’t require a gift, a person, or even a holiday. What I truly needed was to recognize that I was already enough. My sadness came from looking outward for something that had always been internal. My worth does not depend on what someone can do for me. In hindsight, it was not about what I didn’t get, but about what I was lacking within myself.
Turning Inward With Intention
It’s unfair to let one day dictate how special we feel. What if we used Valentine’s Day as a reminder to practice self-love? Consider your love language. If it is quality time, spend the day doing things you enjoy, such as watching your favorite movie or reading a book. If it is acts of service, you might treat yourself to a coffee from a café instead of making it at home. If your love language is physical touch, you could get a massage or take a warm bath. If it is words of affirmation, you might give yourself a compliment. When we love ourselves, we aren’t dependent on others to feel special
Stepping Away From Comparison
Sometimes we feel sad because we’re comparing ourselves to others. If this is something you do often, consider taking a break from social media to protect your mental health. When we compare, we often miss the full context. For example, we might see someone in a relationship posting happy photos and think, “I want that too.” But we don’t know what happens behind closed doors or how they feel when they go to bed at night. Instead of assuming that others have what we want, we can focus on what we desire.
Ending With Self-Worth
With Valentine’s Day coming soon, I hope you can approach it in a more grounded way. Remember that it’s just one day and that you get to choose how you want to spend it. Feeling special isn’t just tied to a gift, person, or holiday. You’re already special. Happy Valentine’s Day!