It’s often easier to focus on what others owe you. But what do you owe yourself? This question invites you to look inward and reflect on your needs. If something as small as a plant has several needs, then how much more do you need? Fulfillment begins with self-awareness and a commitment to your emotional well-being. So, what do you owe yourself? Let’s start there.
Fulfillment Starts with You
What do you need to feel fulfilled in a relationship? Knowing the answer to this is one of the first things you owe yourself. When we feel unfulfilled, it is often due to a disconnection from our emotional needs. This disconnection may arise from being unaware of those needs, failing to communicate them, or choosing relationships that cannot fulfill them. In these situations, notice the common denominator: it’s ourselves. What role have you played in creating balanced and reciprocal relationships? Is it time to start giving yourself more of what you need?
Curiosity Over Judgment
We owe ourselves self-acceptance. Although we all have imperfections, they don’t make us less worthy. Accepting yourself doesn’t mean you stop striving to be better; it’s about creating space for our strengths and weaknesses. Viewing your weaknesses as opportunities for learning and growth can be very helpful. You can do this by replacing every judgment you have about yourself with curiosity. What if you were more curious about your flaws? How could that help you see yourself in a more balanced way?
Your Best is Enough
I think too many people are way too hard on themselves. While I believe being accountable for your mistakes is important, I think we can give ourselves more grace. The grace to learn and make better choices. I don’t know anyone perfect because we all fall short in some ways. Our shortcomings remind us that we are human. Instead of striving for perfection, strive for progress. Doing your best is enough.
You Can Handle the Truth
How honest are you about what you want and need? We all have standards, but we might not stick to them. Being flexible is a strength, but could it be holding you back from what you deserve? When we compromise our values, neglect our needs, or struggle to maintain boundaries, we may find ourselves settling for less than we want. Instead of judging yourself, be curious and honest about why this happens. Could it stem from low self-esteem, external pressure, impatience, or even past trauma? You may already know the answer, but are you ready to face it?
A Question to Consider
What do you owe yourself? Have you ever paused to think about that? If not, I invite you to take a moment and reflect. To help you get started, here are a few things you owe yourself: understanding, acceptance, grace, and honesty. You might want to add to this list or create your own. Whenever life feels confusing or overwhelming, remember to ask yourself this question. It might guide you back to where you want to be.