You’re not asking for too much, you’re just asking the wrong person. Healthy relationships are reciprocal; they pour into each other’s cups. Our cups represent what we’re able to give in a relationship. If you saw someone with an empty cup, you wouldn’t ask them for water. Yet, how often do we ask people to give us something they don’t have? It’s not wrong to ask for what you need; it’s just important to recognize when someone doesn’t have the capacity to give it.
Fill Your Cup First
What fills your cup? Before entering a relationship, you might consider filling your cup first. After all, you can only give what you have. The best way to keep your cup full is through self-care. Many people neglect themselves by not having a self-care routine. For me, journaling is my go-to practice. It’s more than just writing words on paper. It’s about showing up for myself consistently. If you want to give more in relationships, start by pouring into yourself.
Give and Take: The Balance of Healthy Love
Have you ever felt neglected in a relationship? Oftentimes, it happens because you’re not pouring into yourself or you’re pouring into an empty cup. Everyone comes into a relationship with a cup. Some cups are full while others are empty. It isn’t your responsibility to fill an empty cup. If you fill an empty cup, you’re giving too much of yourself. Healthy relationships strike a balance between giving and taking. It isn’t just about what you can provide but also what you can receive. The next time you feel neglected in a relationship, ask yourself: Is it a lack of self-care or a lack of reciprocity?
Final Thoughts
While it’s important to know what you need in a relationship, it’s equally important to know who can meet those needs. If you learn how to show up for yourself, you’re less likely to stay in relationships that don’t show up for you. When you have a full cup, you keep it full by being with people who also have a full cup. Never stop asking for what you need. Just make sure you’re asking the right person.