Month: October 2025

Which Environments Make You Feel Invisible?

A young woman sits thoughtfully by a window, holding a feather pen and notebook, in a serene room.

Have you ever walked into a store where no one greets you? You’re browsing quietly, trying to find what you need, but no one looks up. No one says hello. No one asks if you need help. After a while, you start to feel invisible, as if you don’t belong there. Then, you step into another store. The moment you walk in, someone smiles at you and says, “Welcome! Let me know if you need anything.” You haven’t changed; you’re still the same person. Yet, suddenly, you feel seen, valued, and appreciated. That’s the power of environment. Sometimes, it isn’t you, it’s the room you’re in.

The Power of Changing Rooms

For many people, changing rooms can transform their entire experience. Rooms aren’t just physical places, but the people we allow to occupy spaces in our personal and professional lives. Everyone has weaknesses, but when was the last time someone recognized your strengths? When was the last time someone expressed appreciation for what you did? Instead of questioning who we are, maybe it’s time we start questioning the environments we’re in. If we aren’t being seen, valued, or appreciated, it might be time to leave the room.

Step Into the Right Rooms

Stop staying in rooms that don’t see, appreciate, or value you. Go where the sun shines. Just like a plant needs sunlight to grow, we thrive in environments where people support us. We need spaces where who we are is enough, where we don’t hide our weaknesses out of fear of judgment or downplay our strengths to avoid making others uncomfortable. In the right space, others aren’t afraid to let us shine because they recognize that our light makes the room brighter.

Evaluate Your Spaces

Take a moment to evaluate the spaces in your personal and professional life. Notice where you feel drained, invisible, or unappreciated. Those feelings aren’t a reflection of your worth; they’re signals that the environment isn’t right for you. You have the power to step away from those spaces and seek places that support you. When you’re in the right rooms, you’ll notice a change not just in how others treat you, but in how you see yourself. Sometimes it’s not you, it’s the room you’re in.

Who in Your Life Can You Trust?

A woman sits by a window, lost in deep thoughts and moody light.

What happens when the people closest to us betray us? For many of us, this leads to trust issues. We believe that if we can’t trust the people we’re close to, then we can’t trust anyone. On the surface, it appears to be trust issues, but beneath that lies unresolved trauma. When the people we depended on for our safety become the source of our pain, it creates internal conflict that can change how we view ourselves and others. As a defense mechanism, we protect ourselves by not trusting anyone. What we don’t realize is that our trust issues are the unresolved issues we have with people who hurt us.

Processing the Experience of Betrayal

When someone close to us betrays us, how do we process that experience? We might start to question our judgment: How could I not have seen this coming? To protect ourselves from that pain, we may become hypervigilant by assuming the worst about people, keeping others at a distance, or shutting down emotionally. These reactions are natural trauma responses, but they aren’t healthy ways to process betrayal. Instead, we can focus on understanding our feelings without blaming ourselves for someone else’s actions. Ask yourself: How did this experience make me feel? Reflecting on it is the first step toward healing.

Moving Through Painful Emotions

When we revisit a painful experience, the goal isn’t to relive it but to move through it. Betrayal is a difficult situation to process because it comes with heavy emotions and even physical sensations. We can feel the tightness in our chest or tension in our shoulders. In these moments, it’s okay to take a break and process it gradually. When processing trauma, it’s also helpful to co-regulate with a licensed therapist. They’re able to provide grounding techniques that can help us process painful emotions. While we can’t change what happened to us, we can change how we process our experience.

Rebuilding Trust and Setting Boundaries

Instead of generalizing everyone based on our past hurts, we can recognize that some people are trustworthy while others are not. Identifying those we can trust helps us realize that not everyone is the same. When considering whether someone is trustworthy, the main factors to evaluate are their consistency and their respect for you and others. Also, setting boundaries is an effective way to protect ourselves in relationships, especially after experiencing betrayal. While navigating the pain of betrayal can be incredibly tough, we can emerge from these experiences more resilient.

How Do You Spot Seasonal Depression in Yourself or Others?

Anonymous young sorrowed female in casual outfit touching dark hair and embracing knees while sitting on chair at home

According to statistics, one in five Americans has a mental illness. With a stat like that, chances are you or someone you care about may be going through a difficult time, especially during the holidays. Seasonal depression tends to become more common in the fall and winter. So, how can we find the support we need and help those we care about do the same? First, we prioritize our mental health and then check in on the well-being of others. 

Checking In With Yourself

Before we can show up for others, it’s important to check in with ourselves. Over the past two weeks, ask yourself: how have you been feeling? Have you experienced sadness, anxiety, irritability, or hopelessness? If these feelings have been present most days, it can be a sign of depression. Unlike sadness, depression is long-lasting and can be detrimental to our well-being if left untreated. It is not something that goes away, and seeking professional help from a licensed therapist is the first step. By taking care of ourselves, we strengthen our ability to care for others.

Recognizing the Signs in Others

Have you noticed someone acting differently lately? While depression can be hard to recognize, it often shows through noticeable changes. People struggling with depression may withdraw from social activities and isolate themselves. You might also notice changes in their sleep patterns or increased irritability.

Depression doesn’t look the same for everyone, but these behavioral changes are common signs to watch for. If you suspect someone is experiencing depression, let them know you’re there for them. Many people feel ashamed, but by providing your support, you can help them take the necessary steps towards healing. 

Breaking the Stigma and Seeking Help

The stigma around mental health has shifted, and as someone who has experienced depression, I’m grateful to be able to share my diagnosis openly. Therapy was one of the first steps I took to improve my mental health. It has helped me become more self-aware and given me tools to regulate my emotions and reframe my thoughts. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, don’t hesitate to reach out to a licensed therapist. We all need support, especially when it comes to our mental health.

How Do You Know You Can Trust Someone?

Four colleagues smiling and shaking hands in a bright office setting.

Some people have a gift of discernment, while others rely on their intuition. Though these terms often seem interchangeable, they are slightly different. Intuition is that instant feeling we get when we meet someone for the first time. We get a sense of their character before learning anything about them. Discernment, on the other hand, develops over time as we observe consistent patterns in a person’s words and behavior. When used together, intuition and discernment become powerful tools for determining whether someone is trustworthy.

Trusting Our Intuition

When we meet people for the first time, our intuition often kicks in instantly. Feeling calm usually means our body is signaling trust, while anxiety can indicate that something feels off. However, sometimes our intuition contradicts what we think we know. I once met someone I clicked with, but there was one thing they did that didn’t sit well with me. The next time I was around them, I felt uneasy. Although I tried to brush it off, the feeling only grew stronger. Then a similar incident happened again, but this time I recognized a red flag. I decided to trust my gut and stop spending time with them. The anxiety I once felt turned into peace. 

Embracing Curiosity

Many people use logic to dismiss their intuition, which can lead to anxiety. Instead of ignoring how we feel, we can be curious about those feelings. If we don’t feel comfortable around someone, it could be that our intuition is picking up that they aren’t trustworthy. Or it could be picking up that there’s some incompatibility. When getting to know someone, it’s important to pay attention to their words and actions. Do they follow through on their commitments? Do they show consistency over time? By staying curious, we may find confirmation for what our intuition already sensed.

Learning Through Observation

While intuition can guide us, discernment teaches us valuable lessons. For example, by paying attention to how people treat others, we can learn a lot about their character. How do they treat strangers? How do they treat the people they love? How do they talk about their ex-partners or past relationships? These questions reveal their experiences with others and often provide a glimpse into who they really are. Another way to discern character is through feedback. When we offer feedback respectfully, do they become defensive or dismissive? Often, these kinds of responses indicate that a person isn’t open to growth and lacks accountability.

Final Thoughts

Intuition gives us a quick glimpse, while discernment helps us see the full picture over time. By trusting both and staying curious, we can better judge who deserves our trust. So, how do you know when someone is truly trustworthy?

Who Do You Turn to for Support?

Family embracing and dining together indoors during festive holiday season.

Much like riding a rollercoaster, life is full of ups and downs, and it’s much better to have someone beside you for the ride. When things take an unexpected turn, having someone close can be comforting. But what happens when you don’t have anyone during those twists and turns? It can feel scary and isolating. In difficult times, who is there for you through the highs and lows? 

Learning to Lean on Others

What do you do when you don’t have the support you need? We all need at least two people we can count on during tough times. The first is ourselves, and the second is someone we trust. For many, the only person they can truly rely on is themselves. While self-regulation is essential for building emotional resilience, asking for help is just as important for creating a strong support system. So, besides yourself, who can you turn to for support?

Identifying Positive Relationships 

Who in your family do you have a positive relationship with? Positive doesn’t necessarily mean close; it could be someone you get along with or who has been a consistent presence in your life. Now, when was the last time you reached out to them for support? Often, people are willing to support us if we give them the opportunity. And even if they don’t, at least we had the courage to ask.

Turning to Our Chosen Family

The next group to consider is our chosen family: our friends. Many people take pride in being the “strong” friend, but we don’t have to always wear that badge. After all, we’re not superhuman; we’re human. One of the greatest benefits of friendship is the support we receive. You deserve to have a lighter load, and it starts with asking for what you need. 

Taking the First Step: Asking for Help

Although I’ve only highlighted two sources of support, there are many more available. If you’re not receiving the help you need from friends or family, consider reaching out to neighbors, mentors, therapists, or support groups in your community. Take some time to list the supportive people in your life. If you’re having trouble identifying even a couple of people you can rely on, consider what small steps you might take to start building that support network. Sometimes, the first step is asking for help.

How Do You Define Accountability in Relationships?

A troubled couple sits outdoors during a deeply emotional conversation.

One of the most infamous breakup lines is, “It’s not you, it’s me.” However, some people tend to think the opposite: “It’s not me, it’s you.” What if we could see our relationships as mirrors? We might realize they are showing us parts of ourselves we don’t see. After all, we are the common denominator in every relationship. It could be time we acknowledge, “It’s me.” We could have handled things differently. Accountability isn’t about blaming ourselves; it’s about taking responsibility for our choices.

Know Your Worth

One thing that may be holding us back from the relationship we want is the person we choose. If we want a healthy and loving relationship, it starts with picking someone who respects us. Before love, there should be respect. Do they honor your time, boundaries, and opinions? If they don’t value you, they won’t know how to treat you. Self-respect empowers us to walk away from relationships that don’t serve us. It’s not about controlling others, but about setting standards for how we allow ourselves to be treated.

Turning Pain Into Insight

Many people carry shame about not leaving a toxic relationship sooner. Instead of judging ourselves for how long we stayed, we might ask: What boundaries will I set in my next relationship? What patterns did I notice early on? What do I need to heal to be ready for a healthy relationship? These questions give insight and prepare us for the next relationship. While breakups can be heartbreaking, they aren’t meant to last forever. Our past can’t be changed, but our future can. By learning from our experiences, we move closer to what we desire. 

Final Thoughts

Accountability begins with the realization: “It’s me, not you.” What can I learn? What can I do differently? How can I grow? Our relationships are mirrors, and only when we’re willing to look at ourselves without judgment can we learn the lessons.

When Was the Last Time You Broke Routine?

Contemporary hotel room with a man tying shoes in a bright Toronto setting.

A routine can give structure to our lives, but if we’re not careful, it can also take away spontaneity. Recently, I learned how to find a balance between the two. Structure helps me stay disciplined and consistent, while spontaneity allows me to embrace new experiences. I realized that if I wanted something different, it started with breaking my routine. When was the last time you broke your routine? 

The Comfort of Structure

Structure gives me peace of mind, but it was also keeping me stuck in my comfort zone. Instead of making big changes to my routine, I started small by changing the time I did things. I learned that being just a little more open could lead to unexpected experiences. By learning how to make small changes, I became more comfortable stepping outside my comfort zone. While I still value structure, I’ve learned that a little flexibility can go a long way.

The Power of Small Steps

I started small and worked my way up. Even small changes felt uncomfortable, but I’ve learned to manage that discomfort. Once, I visited a store I’d never been to and ended up finding a great deal. It was unfamiliar and out of my routine. Initially, I was reluctant to go to this store, but I stepped outside my comfort zone. I didn’t want fear to limit my life experience. Fear isn’t something you cure, it’s something you face. That day, I learned that one small change can lead to significant growth. 

Be Spontaneous

How predictable is your life? Hold on to that answer. Now, how exciting is your life? If your life is predictable, but not exciting, I invite you to be more spontaneous. It doesn’t have to be dramatic; it can be small. Consider doing something different this week. Then, I want you to reflect on the experience. You might discover that a little spontaneity goes a long way. 

What Is Missing in Your Current Relationship?

An upset couple seated on a park bench, expressing frustration during an autumn day.

You’re not asking for too much, you’re just asking the wrong person. Healthy relationships are reciprocal; they pour into each other’s cups. Our cups represent what we’re able to give in a relationship. If you saw someone with an empty cup, you wouldn’t ask them for water. Yet, how often do we ask people to give us something they don’t have? It’s not wrong to ask for what you need; it’s just important to recognize when someone doesn’t have the capacity to give it.

Fill Your Cup First

What fills your cup? Before entering a relationship, you might consider filling your cup first. After all, you can only give what you have. The best way to keep your cup full is through self-care. Many people neglect themselves by not having a self-care routine. For me, journaling is my go-to practice. It’s more than just writing words on paper. It’s about showing up for myself consistently. If you want to give more in relationships, start by pouring into yourself.

Give and Take: The Balance of Healthy Love

Have you ever felt neglected in a relationship? Oftentimes, it happens because you’re not pouring into yourself or you’re pouring into an empty cup. Everyone comes into a relationship with a cup. Some cups are full while others are empty. It isn’t your responsibility to fill an empty cup. If you fill an empty cup, you’re giving too much of yourself. Healthy relationships strike a balance between giving and taking. It isn’t just about what you can provide but also what you can receive. The next time you feel neglected in a relationship, ask yourself: Is it a lack of self-care or a lack of reciprocity?

Final Thoughts

While it’s important to know what you need in a relationship, it’s equally important to know who can meet those needs. If you learn how to show up for yourself, you’re less likely to stay in relationships that don’t show up for you. When you have a full cup, you keep it full by being with people who also have a full cup. Never stop asking for what you need. Just make sure you’re asking the right person.

How Often Do You Compare Yourself to Others?

Young woman using smartphone while relaxing at a café. Latte on the table.

The key to feeling better about ourselves isn’t about being like anyone other than who we are. Too often, we fall into the trap of social comparison. We allow how we look, who we know, and what we have to validate who we are. Or maybe we feel intimidated by someone we deem as better looking, more successful, and well-liked. We focus on their strengths while overlooking ours. No wonder we struggle to feel good enough. The truth is that self-worth is internal and validation is external. Instead of outsourcing our worth, we can look inward.

Shift Your Focus Inward

Too often, we don’t notice things about ourselves until someone else points them out. I wonder how much of that is because we spend so much time comparing ourselves to others. Maybe we notice other people’s strengths more easily because we’re focused on them instead of ourselves. But what if we shifted that focus inward? We start to recognize that we have strengths too. If we can see the best in someone else, why not also see the best in ourselves? A person who knows who they are is confident. A confident person recognizes their innate worth.

Become the Best Version of You

We often compare ourselves to others because we lack confidence in who we are. The comparison gives us a sense of security because we lack it internally. It feels good when we’re doing as great as our peers, but what happens when we fall behind? Our confidence begins to suffer. Comparison is the thief of joy. If we make it a habit, we might never be content with who we are. Instead of constantly measuring our worth against others, we can focus on becoming the best version of ourselves.

The Power of Being You

Have you ever thought about trading places with someone? Maybe it’s because you admire who they are or you want what they have. If you do, are you ready to accept everything that comes with it: the weaknesses and strengths, the mistakes and lessons, the successes and failures? You never know what a person has been through to become who they are today. While we can be inspired by someone, that doesn’t mean we need to be like them. The beauty in all of us is our uniqueness.

While it is great to see the light in others, we can also take time to see the light within ourselves. Focusing on who we are can help us to let go of social comparisons. There’s no need to be like anyone else, because who we are is enough.