The relationship with ourselves is one of the most important relationships we will ever have because it is lifelong. It is important for us to devote time and effort to improving it. As your relationship with yourself improves, you will feel more content and fulfilled. Cultivating a better relationship with ourselves includes understanding who we are, practicing self-compassion, establishing boundaries, and refraining from comparison.
Enhancing Self-Awareness
One of the first ways we can improve our relationship with ourselves is by being self-aware. We can become self-aware by knowing our values, strengths, and weaknesses. A strong sense of self is like having an internal compass that guides you in the right direction.
You can make better decisions when you know your core values. Dedicate some time to identify your top five values and take action to align with them. It is also beneficial to know your strengths and weaknesses. Acknowledge the things you are great at and improve the areas you are weak in. Weaknesses are not bad. They are simply part of being human. Be aware of your weaknesses, but don’t dwell on them. Take time to appreciate your strengths. Concentrating on your strengths can increase your confidence, and working on your weaknesses can foster growth.
Practicing Self-Compassion
Self-compassion can be instrumental in building a loving relationship with ourselves. I’ve discovered that practicing self-compassion has facilitated my personal growth, whereas being harsh on myself has hindered it. Research has shown that self-compassion leads to a growth mindset. When we have self-compassion, we acknowledge our mistakes and find ways to improve. Self-compassion is about striving to be better, not perfect. It is OK to make mistakes. It is OK to have imperfections. Self-compassion means allowing yourself to embrace your humanity. It is about extending yourself grace when you need it. It is about forgiving yourself for past mistakes. It’s about being patient with yourself. Remember that you’re putting forth your best effort and can always aim for progress.
Setting Boundaries
Another way we can improve our relationship with ourselves is by establishing boundaries. Psychologist Nedra Tawwab describes boundaries as expectations and needs that help you feel safe and comfortable in your relationships. Guilt can often prevent us from setting boundaries because we may believe it is mean or selfish. Or the other person might react negatively to a boundary we have. We can combat this by challenging our beliefs around what we perceive as mean or selfish. We can be kind and still have boundaries. We can also recognize that we cannot control how people respond to our boundaries.
Establishing boundaries with yourself is crucial as well. Boundaries for yourself may look like saying no to things you don’t want to do or being honest with yourself. Implementing boundaries with yourself and others fosters a secure space for you to present your best self.
Resisting the Urge to Compare
Comparison is the thief of joy. We don’t need to measure up to the standards of others. We need to create standards that align with who we are. It is easy to compare our lives to others on social media and assume they have a better life. However, that person likely faces struggles you may not be aware of. We only have access to what people show us. If you constantly compare yourself to others, consider taking a break from social media. Instead of outsourcing your worth through comparisons, remind yourself that your worth is innate. Shift from comparison to what you value.
Investing in You
Relationships require work, and it is important to consider putting more effort into the one you have with yourself. We will always have complete control over this relationship, and enhancing our relationship with ourselves leads to inner peace and contentment. I encourage you to invest time in improving your relationship with yourself by understanding who you are, practicing self-compassion, establishing boundaries, and refraining from comparison.
