When I was twelve, I had to complete a science project, and since science was my least favorite subject, I dreaded it. The assignment felt overwhelming for two reasons: I didn’t know what I was doing, and I had procrastinated. After hours of struggling, I ended up with a pounding headache and a project that I didn’t feel confident about. It became clear to me that I couldn’t tackle this on my own next time. I learned that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; rather, an opportunity to be supported. Even now, as an adult, I continue to remind myself of this lesson.
Being Independent
Sometimes, we put too much pressure on ourselves and mistake it for independence. You can be independent and still need help. As a child, I wanted to be self-reliant because I was afraid to depend on others. Over time, I’ve learned that interdependence is just as valuable. While there are some things I can do on my own, there are times when I need support. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. We all need help with something, but the question is, are we willing to ask for help?
Becoming Interdependent
How do we allow people to help us? Two ways: by accepting help when it’s offered and by asking for it when we need it. We don’t earn points for doing everything on our own. In fact, when we don’t ask for help, people often assume that we can manage everything by ourselves. If we’re not careful, taking on too much can lead to burnout, which is our body’s way of signaling that we have reached our limit. Often, burnout can be avoided by allowing people to help us. So, the next time you feel overwhelmed, reach out and ask for help; it’s not a weakness, but an act of self-care.
Finding Balance
There are lessons that we relearn as adults. The lesson for me was learning again how essential it is to ask for help. I think about experiences where I could have saved myself time and frustration if I weren’t afraid to reach out for support. Sometimes we rely too much on ourselves to our detriment. It’s all about finding that nice balance between showing up for ourselves and allowing others to show up for us. We can do both if we learn to be interdependent rather than independent.