Everyone has an opinion of you, but the mistake we make is tying our identity to how people view us. The way someone perceives you often reflects more about them than about you. If someone sees you as unworthy, does that make you unworthy? The answer is NO. Here’s why I think it is important to be mindful of how we allow people’s perceptions to influence us.
1.) People have limitations
Someone’s views of you reflect their beliefs, biases, and experiences. If someone doesn’t think you are attractive, that doesn’t mean you are unattractive. They are expressing an opinion, not a fact. Too often, we mistake opinions for facts. Their perception of how beautiful you are is also a reflection of how they see beauty. Some people’s ideas of beauty are purely preferential. Instead of trying to fit their preference, create your own. What do you find attractive about yourself? It doesn’t have to be limited to physical appearance; it can be the way you carry yourself. Being uniquely you is beautiful.
Before mirrors existed, people used pools of water to see their reflection. Can you imagine not having a mirror to see yourself? The irony is that every time we allow others to define us, we are looking into a pool of water. We have a distorted view of ourselves when we focus on the opinions of others. What if the same person who thinks you are unworthy is projecting how they feel? You are not unworthy because someone says it. You feel unworthy because you believe it. We are all worthy, but we have to start looking in the mirror to see it.
2.) Opinions are inconsistent
Have you ever had someone say to you, “When I first met you, I thought you were (fill in the blank), but as I got to know you, I realized that you aren’t that way.” Their opinion of you changed because they had more information. The reverse also happens. Some people like you until they discover what they don’t like. Many people are fickle, and if you’re not careful, you can start confusing their opinions with your identity. We need people in our lives whose opinions are more consistent with who we are. Without that, we may begin to question our worth anytime someone’s opinion changes. Instead, we can start liking ourselves first and then choose people who like us back.
3.) Self-worth starts with you
Our confidence is determined by how we perceive ourselves, not the opinion of others. You might not believe this, but how you see yourself is more important than how others perceive you. We don’t need validation to confirm what is already within. We are inherently worthy, which means there’s nothing external that can make us enough. We can start recognizing our worth by looking at who we are. We all carry values and strengths within us. We need to start focusing more on these things. Self-worth isn’t something you find in the approval of others. It is something you recognize within yourself.
Final Takeaway
We cannot control how people perceive us, but we can control how we see ourselves. Take a moment today to list three things you love about yourself. Allow these qualities to be your focus, and you will begin to realize how worthy you’ve always been.