Category: Mindset

Growing up, I watched American Idol, and the judge who caught my attention was Simon Cowell. He definitely didn’t hold back, calling some contestants the worst singers in the world. His blunt comments made me think about how we react when others judge us. How do you respond when someone criticizes you? The most effective approach isn’t to react defensively but to focus on what is true and helpful. This approach can help us to grow without losing our confidence.

Opinion vs. Fact

Does the truth hurt? When someone criticizes us, is it painful because it’s true, or because it challenges our sense of self? Often, feedback can be honest but not objective. Take the television show American Idol, for example: someone might honestly share their opinion, but an opinion is not a fact. Saying someone is the worst singer in the world is an opinion, whereas noting that their pitch doesn’t match the melody is a fact. Ultimately, it’s not the truth that hurts; it’s the disapproval that does.

Why Criticism Feels Painful

One reason many people struggle with criticism is that it feels like rejection. When we feel judged for who we are, it’s natural to feel disappointed, upset, or frustrated. Acceptance feels good, but rejection can sting. As much as we want to take it personally, it’s important to understand that it’s part of the human experience. Just like not everyone likes coffee, not everyone will like us. We don’t need to feel bad about ourselves just because of another person’s perception of us. Instead, we recognize that our perception of ourselves matters more.

Focusing on Useful Insights

When responding to criticism, it’s essential to consider who is providing the feedback. What is their temperament, communication style, and attitude? Not all criticism is constructive; at times, it may stem from the other person’s frustration or mood rather than an objective evaluation. In such cases, focus on the parts that are true and helpful. If nothing they say is beneficial, it’s best to let it go. We don’t have to be defined by what people say when we know who we are.

Next time someone criticizes you, pause before reacting. Ask yourself: what part of this is true? What part can help me grow? What part can I let go? By being curious even, a negative evaluation can turn into a valuable learning tool.

I will never forget my 10th birthday party. As I blew out the candles on my cake, I had one wish in mind. When that wish came true, I was ecstatic. I believed that all it took was a few lit candles and a little imagination to make anything possible. Over time, I learned that wishful thinking alone isn’t enough, but envisioning what we desire is always a powerful first step. Once we have that vision, the next step is to take action. As a child, I waited for things to happen for me, but as an adult, I am learning to make things happen.

The Power of Vision

We don’t have to wait for our birthday to make a wish. In fact, every day is an opportunity to imagine the life we want. To achieve our dreams, it’s important to have a clear vision. But vision alone is not enough; some aspirations require hard work, dedication, and time. We don’t always get what we want right away, which can be discouraging. In these moments, reminding ourselves of our vision can keep us moving forward. Too many people give up too soon, not realizing that the life they desire might be just days, weeks, or months away.

Challenge Your Thinking

Sometimes, our vision isn’t too small; our mindset is. When things don’t happen on our timeline, we might assume they will never occur. In reality, they simply haven’t happened yet. Adopting a growth mindset means recognizing that just because something hasn’t happened, doesn’t mean it never will. It is essential we challenge our thoughts and ask ourselves do they align with the vision we have for the future. It isn’t about being in denial about what is but being open to what is possible. With a growth mindset, we stay open to possibility.

From Vision to Reality

It’s one thing to want something; it’s another to take action to achieve it. Many of the things we desire require stepping outside our comfort zones. Change can be uncomfortable, but aren’t our dreams worth that temporary discomfort? If we knew that facing our fears could bring us closer to what we want, would we take the leap or settle for what’s familiar and miss out on life’s possibilities? Often, the only thing standing between us and our vision is our actions.

Final Thoughts

What is one wish that you have, and what are you willing to do to make it come true? We all have wishes, but do we have the right mindset and consistent action to make them a reality? Don’t wait for your next birthday to make a wish, start imagining what you want now and work towards it.

When I was twelve, I had to complete a science project, and since science was my least favorite subject, I dreaded it. The assignment felt overwhelming for two reasons: I didn’t know what I was doing, and I had procrastinated. After hours of struggling, I ended up with a pounding headache and a project that I didn’t feel confident about. It became clear to me that I couldn’t tackle this on my own next time. I learned that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; rather, an opportunity to be supported. Even now, as an adult, I continue to remind myself of this lesson.

Being Independent

Sometimes, we put too much pressure on ourselves and mistake it for independence. You can be independent and still need help. As a child, I wanted to be self-reliant because I was afraid to depend on others. Over time, I’ve learned that interdependence is just as valuable. While there are some things I can do on my own, there are times when I need support. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. We all need help with something, but the question is, are we willing to ask for help?

Becoming Interdependent

How do we allow people to help us? Two ways: by accepting help when it’s offered and by asking for it when we need it. We don’t earn points for doing everything on our own. In fact, when we don’t ask for help, people often assume that we can manage everything by ourselves. If we’re not careful, taking on too much can lead to burnout, which is our body’s way of signaling that we have reached our limit. Often, burnout can be avoided by allowing people to help us. So, the next time you feel overwhelmed, reach out and ask for help; it’s not a weakness, but an act of self-care.

Finding Balance

There are lessons that we relearn as adults. The lesson for me was learning again how essential it is to ask for help. I think about experiences where I could have saved myself time and frustration if I weren’t afraid to reach out for support. Sometimes we rely too much on ourselves to our detriment. It’s all about finding that nice balance between showing up for ourselves and allowing others to show up for us. We can do both if we learn to be interdependent rather than independent.

Have you ever walked into a store where no one greets you? You’re browsing quietly, trying to find what you need, but no one looks up. No one says hello. No one asks if you need help. After a while, you start to feel invisible, as if you don’t belong there. Then, you step into another store. The moment you walk in, someone smiles at you and says, “Welcome! Let me know if you need anything.” You haven’t changed; you’re still the same person. Yet, suddenly, you feel seen, valued, and appreciated. That’s the power of environment. Sometimes, it isn’t you, it’s the room you’re in.

The Power of Changing Rooms

For many people, changing rooms can transform their entire experience. Rooms aren’t just physical places, but the people we allow to occupy spaces in our personal and professional lives. Everyone has weaknesses, but when was the last time someone recognized your strengths? When was the last time someone expressed appreciation for what you did? Instead of questioning who we are, maybe it’s time we start questioning the environments we’re in. If we aren’t being seen, valued, or appreciated, it might be time to leave the room.

Step Into the Right Rooms

Stop staying in rooms that don’t see, appreciate, or value you. Go where the sun shines. Just like a plant needs sunlight to grow, we thrive in environments where people support us. We need spaces where who we are is enough, where we don’t hide our weaknesses out of fear of judgment or downplay our strengths to avoid making others uncomfortable. In the right space, others aren’t afraid to let us shine because they recognize that our light makes the room brighter.

Evaluate Your Spaces

Take a moment to evaluate the spaces in your personal and professional life. Notice where you feel drained, invisible, or unappreciated. Those feelings aren’t a reflection of your worth; they’re signals that the environment isn’t right for you. You have the power to step away from those spaces and seek places that support you. When you’re in the right rooms, you’ll notice a change not just in how others treat you, but in how you see yourself. Sometimes it’s not you, it’s the room you’re in.

Some people have a gift of discernment, while others rely on their intuition. Though these terms often seem interchangeable, they are slightly different. Intuition is that instant feeling we get when we meet someone for the first time. We get a sense of their character before learning anything about them. Discernment, on the other hand, develops over time as we observe consistent patterns in a person’s words and behavior. When used together, intuition and discernment become powerful tools for determining whether someone is trustworthy.

Trusting Our Intuition

When we meet people for the first time, our intuition often kicks in instantly. Feeling calm usually means our body is signaling trust, while anxiety can indicate that something feels off. However, sometimes our intuition contradicts what we think we know. I once met someone I clicked with, but there was one thing they did that didn’t sit well with me. The next time I was around them, I felt uneasy. Although I tried to brush it off, the feeling only grew stronger. Then a similar incident happened again, but this time I recognized a red flag. I decided to trust my gut and stop spending time with them. The anxiety I once felt turned into peace. 

Embracing Curiosity

Many people use logic to dismiss their intuition, which can lead to anxiety. Instead of ignoring how we feel, we can be curious about those feelings. If we don’t feel comfortable around someone, it could be that our intuition is picking up that they aren’t trustworthy. Or it could be picking up that there’s some incompatibility. When getting to know someone, it’s important to pay attention to their words and actions. Do they follow through on their commitments? Do they show consistency over time? By staying curious, we may find confirmation for what our intuition already sensed.

Learning Through Observation

While intuition can guide us, discernment teaches us valuable lessons. For example, by paying attention to how people treat others, we can learn a lot about their character. How do they treat strangers? How do they treat the people they love? How do they talk about their ex-partners or past relationships? These questions reveal their experiences with others and often provide a glimpse into who they really are. Another way to discern character is through feedback. When we offer feedback respectfully, do they become defensive or dismissive? Often, these kinds of responses indicate that a person isn’t open to growth and lacks accountability.

Final Thoughts

Intuition gives us a quick glimpse, while discernment helps us see the full picture over time. By trusting both and staying curious, we can better judge who deserves our trust. So, how do you know when someone is truly trustworthy?

Growing up, watching the news felt like watching a horror movie. I knew it was scary, but I couldn’t look away. There were things I saw that I wish I hadn’t. As an adult, I’ve learned that if the headline is triggering, I don’t need to click on the article. For me, protecting my peace means intentionally avoiding harmful content, environments, and people. What are you consuming that might be costing you peace?

The Hidden Cost of Social Media

If it costs you your peace, it is too expensive. When we think about our peace, how much of it is being taken away by the content we consume on social media? Research shows that excessive use of social media can increase symptoms of anxiety, depression, and stress. It could be because we are comparing ourselves to others, experiencing cyberbullying, or isolating ourselves from the real world. Does this mean we should delete our social media accounts? Not necessarily. But becoming more mindful of how much time we spend on it might be the first step toward reclaiming our peace.

Boundaries = Peace

Is there someone or something outside of social media affecting your peace? A gossiping friend? A toxic work environment? Family drama? These are all things that can take a toll on your mental health. If there’s one word I believe is most helpful in situations like these, it’s boundaries. Setting a boundary could mean making a request, limiting your interactions, or even completely removing yourself from a harmful situation.

The next time you feel stressed about something, ask yourself: What boundary do I need to set? The next time you feel drained after a conversation with someone, pause and ask: What boundary could protect my energy next time? By setting boundaries, you safeguard your peace.

Make Peace with Yourself

Last but not least, be kind to yourself. Many of us don’t have peace with ourselves because we don’t believe we’re enough. But whether we realize it or not, we are enough. The moment we recognize our innate worth is the moment we discover true peace. Allow peace to be your standard, not just a preference.

There are 365 days in a year, which equals 8,760 hours. Yet, with all that time, we often fall short of our goals. Why is that? Sometimes, I think it’s because we leap when we can take a small step. Just because you have a big dream doesn’t mean you have to make a huge jump. How do you walk up the stairs? It’s one step at a time. The same mindset can apply to pursuing your dreams. All it takes is the courage to start and the consistency to keep going.

Stepping Stones Lead to Milestones

Walt Disney says we can fulfill our dreams if we have the courage to pursue them. For years, my blog was just a thought until I was brave enough to take action. While courage helped me begin, it was consistency that helped me grow. I set a goal to write weekly, and before long, I had published 100 posts. I think sometimes we forget that it’s the stepping stones that lead us to the milestone. With this in mind, what is one small step you can take to reach your goals?

Trusting the Process

While there is more than one way to achieve a goal, I think sometimes we skip important steps. Before I could launch my blog, I needed to identify my niche, choose a blog name, select a domain, and find a hosting provider. I didn’t rush through these steps; instead, I did thorough research to see what worked best for me. Although the process took longer, I still reached my goal. If we still get what we want, why does it matter how long it takes? The pressure we put on ourselves to achieve things by a certain time is what causes us to rush the process. If we learn to appreciate the process as much as the outcome, it could help us slow down.

Taking the First Step

We all have dreams, goals, and desires, but what’s stopping us from reaching them? Two things come to mind: a lack of courage and consistency. We need the courage to start and the consistency to grow. Think about something you want to achieve in the next year. Now, identify one action you can take each week to move toward that goal. Remember Walt Disney’s words: All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.

While many people strive to achieve success, others go to great lengths to avoid failure. But success doesn’t come without the lessons from failure. Instead of allowing failure to define us, we might consider what it can teach us. If we’re open to these lessons, we may discover resilience and an identity that goes beyond our accomplishments.

Embracing Failure as Part of the Process

Failure isn’t something to be embarrassed or ashamed of. Think about how we learned to walk as babies. We had to fall and get back up many times before we could walk confidently. As adults, we sometimes forget that learning anything new takes time, effort, and making mistakes. Too often, we put pressure on ourselves to be perfect because we’re afraid to fail. But failure is essential to growth. It’s how we learn, adapt, and improve.

The Power of Getting Back Up

How many times are you willing to get back up? The answer to this question is an indication of your resilience. The road to success has never been described as easy. However, if we persevere through the challenges, mistakes, judgments, and failures, we can ultimately reach success. Perfection isn’t the key to success; perseverance is. Your resilience will determine how successful you can become.

Resilience > Approval

We often don’t take risks because we are afraid to fail. If we fail, we believe people will judge us. While being judged doesn’t feel great, it doesn’t define who we are. In fact, taking risks shows courage and confidence. Although success is something we can be proud of, our identity is not limited to what we accomplish. We are still capable even in failure. We are still worthy even if people judge us.

Turning Setbacks into Stepping Stones

If you want to be successful in life, don’t be afraid to fail. Failure doesn’t define us; it’s how we respond to it that matters. One common trait among many successful people is resilience. Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, and Michael Jordan didn’t allow failure to hold them back. In fact, they allowed it to push them forward. By having the courage to fail and the strength to persevere, you can also become successful.

It’s one thing when people doubt you, but it’s another thing when you doubt yourself. Throughout life, I’ve experienced many moments of self-doubt. While fear gets a bad rep, it isn’t always the culprit. As a matter of fact, it’s the pressure we put on ourselves that makes us question who we are and what we can do. We often doubt ourselves because we push ourselves beyond who we believe we are. Some of us don’t know we’re great because we’re waiting on someone to tell us. Well, the wait is officially over. It’s time to look in the mirror and recognize the greatness that’s been there all along.

The Gift of Quiet Confidence

Some people will never know how special they are because no one ever told them. Not everyone becomes a movie star. Not everyone graces the cover of a magazine. Not everyone makes the Forbes list. But we don’t need the spotlight to shine. Our greatness doesn’t depend on how others see us. We often view ourselves not by who we are but by how others see us. If they don’t see our greatness, we don’t see it either. But maybe we can change that. Just because they don’t see our light doesn’t mean we’re not shining.

The Pressure to Be Perfect

When I think about self-doubt, I think about the pressure we put on ourselves to be perfect, or worse, like someone we’re not. It’s not that we aren’t capable; it’s that we often place unrealistic expectations on ourselves. What if our best is good enough? What if we were okay with being ourselves? What if we saw failure as an opportunity? What if we let go of who we think we should be? Often, “what if” is followed by the worst-case scenario, but what if we imagined a better one? We might discover that self-doubt can turn into self-confidence.

The Light Within

When I reflect on my life, college was the time I experienced the most self-doubt. It wasn’t because I didn’t know I was smart. It was because I didn’t know I could become something more: a college graduate. Despite my determination, I felt uncertainty about my future. I’ll never forget when my friend Alexis said to me, “You have a bright future.” Those words stayed with me, but I didn’t quite believe them until years later. The moment I stopped doubting myself, I saw the light. Not the light at the end of the tunnel, but the light within me. That was the turning point, when I finally recognized my capability. 

From Self-Doubt to Self-Confidence

Self-doubt is something we all experience at some point, but we don’t have to let it hold us back. It starts with letting go of who we think we should be and becoming comfortable with who we are. Imperfect yet capable. Different yet special. Scared yet brave. Self-doubt isn’t a sign of inadequacy; it’s a signal for growth. Are you willing to grow? 

I recently reached a career milestone. I got my first promotion! It’s been one of the highlights of my year, yet I find myself already asking, what’s next? I’ve asked this question at every stage of life: after graduating from college, after landing my first job, and even now. It’s like I’m chasing a future that will always be ahead of me. Now, I wonder why I can’t be satisfied with where I am? On the surface, it looks like ambition, but if I’m honest, it’s a lack of gratitude.

Enjoy the Journey

I realized that if I can’t be content with where I am, I’ll never be content with where I’m going. When was the last time you appreciated where you are or what you have? A life well lived is about enjoying the journey, not just the destination. Taking time to be grateful helps us appreciate where we are. We’ve already arrived, but do we even realize it? Do we know we’re enough despite where we are? Or are we striving to be enough?

Practice Gratitude

We’ve done enough. We have enough. We are enough. If you don’t believe this, maybe it’s time to ask what beliefs are driving the desire for more. Is it a belief that external accomplishments define your value? Do you think you’ll finally be happy once you have everything you want? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, it might be time to look within. Instead of chasing what’s next, we can pause and ask ourselves: What can I be grateful for in this moment?

Celebrate Your Progress

Did you know 40% of happiness lies in our choices, thoughts, and behaviors, and only 10% is based on circumstance? Knowing this stat has challenged me to be more grateful for what I have. I could have more, but I could also appreciate what I already have. While I could achieve more, I can also take pride in what I’ve already achieved. I would encourage you to write down all the goals you’ve reached in the past 5 years. Now, take a moment to be proud of what you’ve already done.

Final Thoughts

While milestones are worth celebrating, let’s not forget to appreciate the stepping stones. I’m learning to be grateful for where I am right now. For the next 30 days, I challenge you to write down three things you’re thankful for every day. This simple practice can help you recognize that you have enough, you’ve done enough, and you are enough.