Category: Self Discovery

A routine can give structure to our lives, but if we’re not careful, it can also take away spontaneity. Recently, I learned how to find a balance between the two. Structure helps me stay disciplined and consistent, while spontaneity allows me to embrace new experiences. I realized that if I wanted something different, it started with breaking my routine. When was the last time you broke your routine? 

The Comfort of Structure

Structure gives me peace of mind, but it was also keeping me stuck in my comfort zone. Instead of making big changes to my routine, I started small by changing the time I did things. I learned that being just a little more open could lead to unexpected experiences. By learning how to make small changes, I became more comfortable stepping outside my comfort zone. While I still value structure, I’ve learned that a little flexibility can go a long way.

The Power of Small Steps

I started small and worked my way up. Even small changes felt uncomfortable, but I’ve learned to manage that discomfort. Once, I visited a store I’d never been to and ended up finding a great deal. It was unfamiliar and out of my routine. Initially, I was reluctant to go to this store, but I stepped outside my comfort zone. I didn’t want fear to limit my life experience. Fear isn’t something you cure, it’s something you face. That day, I learned that one small change can lead to significant growth. 

Be Spontaneous

How predictable is your life? Hold on to that answer. Now, how exciting is your life? If your life is predictable, but not exciting, I invite you to be more spontaneous. It doesn’t have to be dramatic; it can be small. Consider doing something different this week. Then, I want you to reflect on the experience. You might discover that a little spontaneity goes a long way. 

The key to feeling better about ourselves isn’t about being like anyone other than who we are. Too often, we fall into the trap of social comparison. We allow how we look, who we know, and what we have to validate who we are. Or maybe we feel intimidated by someone we deem as better looking, more successful, and well-liked. We focus on their strengths while overlooking ours. No wonder we struggle to feel good enough. The truth is that self-worth is internal and validation is external. Instead of outsourcing our worth, we can look inward.

Shift Your Focus Inward

Too often, we don’t notice things about ourselves until someone else points them out. I wonder how much of that is because we spend so much time comparing ourselves to others. Maybe we notice other people’s strengths more easily because we’re focused on them instead of ourselves. But what if we shifted that focus inward? We start to recognize that we have strengths too. If we can see the best in someone else, why not also see the best in ourselves? A person who knows who they are is confident. A confident person recognizes their innate worth.

Become the Best Version of You

We often compare ourselves to others because we lack confidence in who we are. The comparison gives us a sense of security because we lack it internally. It feels good when we’re doing as great as our peers, but what happens when we fall behind? Our confidence begins to suffer. Comparison is the thief of joy. If we make it a habit, we might never be content with who we are. Instead of constantly measuring our worth against others, we can focus on becoming the best version of ourselves.

The Power of Being You

Have you ever thought about trading places with someone? Maybe it’s because you admire who they are or you want what they have. If you do, are you ready to accept everything that comes with it: the weaknesses and strengths, the mistakes and lessons, the successes and failures? You never know what a person has been through to become who they are today. While we can be inspired by someone, that doesn’t mean we need to be like them. The beauty in all of us is our uniqueness.

While it is great to see the light in others, we can also take time to see the light within ourselves. Focusing on who we are can help us to let go of social comparisons. There’s no need to be like anyone else, because who we are is enough.

Whether we are aware of it or not, we pass something down to every generation, from family recipes to unresolved trauma. Often, the trauma our parents experience becomes our trauma too. Even more striking is that this trauma may have started with our grandparents, creating a generational curse. Fortunately, we have the power to break the cycle. It begins with making a conscious effort to be better for the next generation. We don’t just owe it to ourselves to heal but to our children’s children. I want my choices to be a blessing not a curse.

Breaking the Cycle

While our upbringing impacts who we are, it does not have to define who we can become. History doesn’t have to repeat itself. We can stop the cycle by choosing to do things differently. For me, that meant going to therapy and prioritizing my mental health. Self-awareness is the first step toward making changes, and the support of a therapist can help us implement these necessary shifts. Often, we engage in harmful behaviors because they feel familiar, and we may not even recognize that people-pleasing, hyper-independence, or staying busy are trauma responses. But once we identify unhealthy patterns, we can change them. We are not limited to what we knew because we are capable of growth.

When You Know Better, You Do Better

When you know better, you do better. This famous quote by Maya Angelou reminds us that knowledge is key to our growth. Today, we have access to an abundance of resources that can help us lead more fulfilling lives, and therapy is one of the most valuable among them. Therapy is an excellent tool for navigating life’s challenges in healthy ways. Through therapy, we learn how to set boundaries, regulate our emotions, and manage conflicts effectively. While schools may not focus on emotional intelligence, therapy offers the opportunity to develop these essential skills. When we cultivate these skills, we not only grow but also inspire others to change.

From Generational Curse to Generational Blessing

It might feel like a lot of pressure to be the first to break the cycle in your family, but what a privilege you have to do so. You are setting the standard for the next generation, and that is something you can be proud of. You might be the first, but you won’t be the last because you made a different choice. Now that choice becomes a generational blessing rather than a generational curse.

When I was a child, I often lost things. If it were something I cared about, I wouldn’t stop looking until I found it. Back then, loss felt temporary. It wasn’t until I became an adult that I realized some losses are permanent. Like the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or the loss of a job. These are people and opportunities we can never get back. What happens when we can’t recover what we lost? We experience grief.

The Weight of Grief

The grief that comes with loss is palpable. It brings us to our knees and sometimes introduces us to parts of ourselves that we never knew existed. We discover a strength that only grief can teach us. We discover the depth of love that causes us to feel intense emotions. Anger becomes loud while sadness settles in the background. We find a new way of living that is purposeful and honorable. We develop an appreciation for what we have. More importantly, we learn how to live with grief.

Stages of Grief

Grief is painful and an inevitable part of life. It is often followed by these five stages: anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. At the beginning of a loss, some may feel disbelief, while others may immediately react with anger. Everyone grieves differently, and it is important that we give ourselves grace at every stage. The final stage is acceptance, and it doesn’t mean the absence of sadness. We still feel sadness, but we accept this emotion. Grief isn’t something we need to change; it is something we can learn to accept.

An Invitation to Reflect on Grief

As someone who has dealt with grief in many forms, I wanted to create space for this conversation. While it may be heavy, I hope that this post makes grief a little lighter for you. I invite you to reflect on the following questions as you navigate through grief.

What would you want your loved ones to see if they were looking down on you?

What unexpected strengths or abilities have you uncovered while going through grief?

What new opportunities or possibilities might be emerging from this ending?

How do you hold space for pain and joy simultaneously in your healing process?

When you look back on this chapter years from now, what do you hope you’ll have learned or become?

In life, there are many directions you can go. But what happens when the route you used to take is suddenly under construction? You might feel lost at first, unsure of where to turn. You might even ask someone for directions. Before you know it, the detour leads you to something even better. It wasn’t easy at first, but two things helped you get back on track: you were open to exploring, and you asked for help. If you ever feel lost in life, those are two great places to start.

Time to Evolve

Sometimes we feel lost because the life we once knew is no longer the same. It could be the loss of a loved one, a change in career, health issues, or the end of a relationship that can cause you to feel unsure. These events often put our lives under construction. It can be hard to navigate these unexpected changes. But do we wait until construction is over to get back to life? We could or we might consider exploring something new. Perhaps this new phase of your life is inviting you to evolve as a person. It might be time to discover another part of who you are.

From Pain to Power

It is often through challenges that you discover strengths within yourself you didn’t realize you had. You probably never thought you could lose a parent and still be able to enjoy life. You probably never thought you would leave your job and start a business. You probably never thought that a health scare would lead to advocacy for others. You probably never thought that heartbreak could lead to self-love. Life has a way of working itself out. Even the most unexpected roadblocks can lead to an incredible destination.

Help Along the Way

While you could do life alone, it’s so much better to do it with others. The best part of going through life is having someone to help you when you get lost. Many of us have been there, but it was because of our family, friends, mentors, teachers, and God that we found our way back. We don’t have to keep going in circles when we don’t know the way. We can get curious and ask for direction. We don’t always have the answer, but we always have a source. The right source can help you find your way again.

Questions That Guide You

The next time you feel lost, ask these two questions. How do I see myself evolving or changing? Who in my life can help me find my way again? These kinds of questions invite you to explore change and embrace vulnerability.

Growing up, I idolized my older sister. She was a talented piano player who introduced me to Beethoven when I was a child. In my eyes, she represented the person I wanted to become, which sparked my interest in learning to play the piano. However, I never played as well as she did, and this made me feel inadequate. What I didn’t realize at the time was that by trying to be like her, I was overlooking my unique qualities. Looking back, I wish I had focused more on my strengths and been okay with not being good at everything. If you’re anything like me, there are people you admire. But what do you admire about yourself?

Natural Talents Vs Developed Talents

There are natural talents, and then there are developed talents. This lesson is one that I would have loved to have shared with my younger self when I was learning to play piano. I didn’t realize at the time that my sister wasn’t born a great pianist; she became one. She had been practicing for years before I even started lessons, which is why she was more advanced than I was. In hindsight, it wasn’t my lack of talent that kept me from improving, but rather my lack of interest. At the time, I felt inadequate. Now, I realize it wasn’t something I was passionate about.

Chasing Progress, Not Perfection

But there was something that I became passionate about during this time and that was running. My peers were great runners, which pushed me to become a better runner. It became a friendly competition for me. I will never forget when I ran past one of the fastest runners in my class. I felt proud of myself because it wasn’t easy, but I was determined. I didn’t start as a fast runner; I became one. I appreciate this moment more now than I did as a child. It wasn’t about being as great as my peers, but more so about pushing myself to be better. I saw how much progress I’d made, and that motivated me to keep getting better.

The Power of Passion and Determination

One of many things I admire about myself is my determination. When I am passionate about something, I’m not afraid to go after it. Not only will I pursue what I want, but I will not give up until I get it. This strength developed in childhood and has followed me into adulthood. It has helped me graduate from college as a first-generation student, earn a promotion at work, and turn a blog I dreamed of at 16 into reality. I marvel at how this one quality has led to the best experiences of my life. Now, it’s your turn. What do you admire about yourself and why?

We have life only for a moment, but the impact we make can last forever. When I was 8 years old, I heard Martin Luther King Jr.’s I Have a Dream speech in class. It took me many years to understand the power behind his words. While he passed away many decades ago, his dream continues to impact me and millions of others. He has inspired me to dream and be hopeful despite the challenges we face today. As I reflect on his legacy, I find myself asking: how do I want to be remembered?

The Power of Words

Martin Luther King Jr. set the tone for who I want to be. He has inspired me not just through his leadership but through his compassion for others. Writing brings me joy because it allows me to express empathy and offer encouragement through my words. I don’t want my words to be empty; I want them to be powerful. I want to establish a connection with readers that will open their hearts to receive what I have to give. Like King, I hope to leave behind a message that resonates with others. I want my words to be light when the path is dark.

The Joy of Sharing Knowledge

Although I graduated from school many years ago, I’ve never stopped learning. For me, gaining knowledge is exciting, but sharing it gives me a sense of purpose. Maya Angelou once said, “When you learn, teach,” and her words remind me of the importance of sharing what I discover. Each week, I write posts that reflect lessons I’ve learned, hoping they’ll inspire and guide others. Knowledge is power, and instead of keeping it to myself, I choose to share it with the world. When I am no longer here, the lessons I shared will live on.

The Strength of Authenticity

What makes every leader great? For me, it is their authenticity. The beauty of being different is that you offer something unique to the world. I started my blog to express myself authentically. I start every post with a question because curiosity sparks discovery. It’s not about being the best writer but about asking the right questions. While I can appreciate leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. and Maya Angelou, I also see the value in who I am. In a world of billions, the most powerful thing I can do is be myself.

Building a Legacy

How do you want to be remembered is a powerful question because it invites you to be more intentional about your life. Each of us has the power to make an impact. What will be your impact?

For some people, staying busy is a way to avoid uncomfortable emotions. We all cope differently, and sometimes it’s easier to externalize what we’re not ready to face internally. How many of us would slow down if we felt more comfortable with difficult feelings? If we learned to sit with our emotions instead of running from them, maybe life would feel less chaotic. Our emotions themselves aren’t the problem; it’s often the way we process them that causes issues. I’d like us to come to a place where we slow down and reflect more often.

Why We Stay Busy

What is keeping you busy? We all have responsibilities, but how many of us would feel uncomfortable if we weren’t busy? The truth is that many people would rather be busy than process sadness. I can relate to this because sadness isn’t an easy emotion to deal with. Sometimes, we might distract ourselves by putting more time into our work. But what if we allow ourselves to feel this emotion? You’re not alone in avoiding hard feelings. Take a deep breath and answer this question: What is my sadness trying to tell me?

How to Process Emotions

Our emotions cannot harm us, but how we process them can. No matter how often we push our feelings down, they don’t disappear. Have you ever noticed how being too busy affects you physically, emotionally, or mentally? Maybe it’s shown up as insomnia, burnout, or irritability. These are signs our bodies and minds are overwhelmed. Instead of suppressing emotions, it’s essential to acknowledge them. Journaling is an effective tool for this: it helps you become more self-aware and change the behavior contributing to how you feel.

Emotions Are Signals

Sometimes it isn’t the emotion we need to change, it’s our behavior. Take sadness, for example. After you recognize how you feel, identify the root cause. Usually, sadness occurs when we feel disconnected from what matters to us. What have you been disconnected from? Could it be the people you love, your passions, or even your body? Once you have your answer, begin to reconnect. Sadness may be uncomfortable, but what if you viewed it as a signal? This simple reframe could give you the space to feel sad without staying sad.

Final Thoughts

While I understand how busy life can get, I also recognize that we might stay busy to avoid uncomfortable feelings. Emotions aren’t the problem; they are signals. I want us to get more comfortable with identifying these signals. I think a great way to start is by journaling how you feel and identifying the cause of that emotion. Then, you can reflect on some ways you can feel better. The goal isn’t to always feel happy. The goal is to stay connected to yourself. The best way to do this is by being present with your emotions, even if it’s uncomfortable.

On April 6th, I gave birth to a dream I had carried for years. Starting a blog was something I had wanted for a long time, but first, I needed the perfect name. Like many parents naming a newborn, I struggled to find the right name. After going through many names, I finally found one I loved: Mental Inventory.

From Dream to Reality

It was perfect because my blog focuses on self-reflection. The name made it more real. It was no longer just a dream; it was something I was ready to share with the world. I felt anxious before I published my first post. But fear couldn’t keep me from my dreams. Today marks the 100th post, a milestone I could not have reached if I had not found joy in the process.

Finding Joy

The greatest joy of my life has been pursuing this passion. Every day, I’m excited to see how many people visit my blog. As of today, that number has grown to 700, and I couldn’t be more grateful. I hope that each time you read a post, you leave with a new insight, whether it’s a thought-provoking question or a powerful phrase.

Guiding My Readers

Admittedly, I am not an expert on any topic, but what I am an expert in is the life I have. I want you to see me as a loving friend or a dedicated teacher. I may not have all the answers, but I know how to ask the right question. My goal is to guide my readers to their internal compass. You already have the answers, I’m just here to help you uncover them.

Following Your Joy

It took me over a decade to turn my dream into a reality. Too often, we protect our dreams by not going after them. We allow fear to keep us from joy. Or we take the joy out of things by focusing on the outcome rather than the process. I learned early on to be excited about sharing my blog and to enjoy the process. I don’t know what dreams you have, but one thing I know for certain is that they’re worth pursuing. Take it from someone who has found joy in following their dreams.

It’s often easier to focus on what others owe you. But what do you owe yourself? This question invites you to look inward and reflect on your needs. If something as small as a plant has several needs, then how much more do you need? Fulfillment begins with self-awareness and a commitment to your emotional well-being. So, what do you owe yourself? Let’s start there.

Fulfillment Starts with You

What do you need to feel fulfilled in a relationship? Knowing the answer to this is one of the first things you owe yourself. When we feel unfulfilled, it is often due to a disconnection from our emotional needs. This disconnection may arise from being unaware of those needs, failing to communicate them, or choosing relationships that cannot fulfill them. In these situations, notice the common denominator: it’s ourselves. What role have you played in creating balanced and reciprocal relationships? Is it time to start giving yourself more of what you need?

Curiosity Over Judgment

We owe ourselves self-acceptance. Although we all have imperfections, they don’t make us less worthy. Accepting yourself doesn’t mean you stop striving to be better; it’s about creating space for our strengths and weaknesses. Viewing your weaknesses as opportunities for learning and growth can be very helpful. You can do this by replacing every judgment you have about yourself with curiosity. What if you were more curious about your flaws? How could that help you see yourself in a more balanced way?

Your Best is Enough

I think too many people are way too hard on themselves. While I believe being accountable for your mistakes is important, I think we can give ourselves more grace. The grace to learn and make better choices. I don’t know anyone perfect because we all fall short in some ways. Our shortcomings remind us that we are human. Instead of striving for perfection, strive for progress. Doing your best is enough.

You Can Handle the Truth

How honest are you about what you want and need? We all have standards, but we might not stick to them. Being flexible is a strength, but could it be holding you back from what you deserve? When we compromise our values, neglect our needs, or struggle to maintain boundaries, we may find ourselves settling for less than we want. Instead of judging yourself, be curious and honest about why this happens. Could it stem from low self-esteem, external pressure, impatience, or even past trauma? You may already know the answer, but are you ready to face it?

A Question to Consider

What do you owe yourself? Have you ever paused to think about that? If not, I invite you to take a moment and reflect. To help you get started, here are a few things you owe yourself: understanding, acceptance, grace, and honesty. You might want to add to this list or create your own. Whenever life feels confusing or overwhelming, remember to ask yourself this question. It might guide you back to where you want to be.