Whenever I got a cut and used rubbing alcohol to treat it, I would wince because of the burning sensation. It felt as if the healing process was more painful than the injury itself. The same can be true for emotional wounds. Sometimes, healing from our past is an uncomfortable experience. I believe some people avoid their pain because they’re not ready to face the discomfort. I empathize with you because I have been there. However, taking the first step toward healing requires us to feel the pain.
Acknowledge Your Hurt
I used to avoid thinking about hurtful experiences because I didn’t want to feel sad. But ignoring the way I felt was teaching me to avoid pain. It’s not about reliving the past but about understanding how it’s impacting you now. Have you ever just cried about what happened to you? You might believe not crying makes you a strong person. I want to challenge that by saying strength comes in many forms. A person who knows how to regulate their emotions is the kind of strength you want to have. Take a moment to acknowledge how sad, disappointed, or hurt you were because of what was done or said to you. Now, let’s release these emotions.
Healing Through Expression
When I think of an artist like Adele, I think about how she uses her music to process heartbreak. It made me wonder how healing it can be to express yourself through writing. You don’t have to write a song or perform in front of millions to release pain. You can start by writing a letter about how you feel and the impact of your experiences. You may even address the people who hurt you in the letter. Allow yourself to be raw, honest, and vulnerable. You don’t need to give the letter to the person to heal. Sometimes just writing the letter is enough to release the pain.
You Don’t Have to Heal Alone
Sometimes, we need someone to witness our pain before we can release it. Coregulation is about navigating your emotions with another person. It could be with a therapist, friend, or pastor. Sharing your story with someone who can hold space for it is essential. We don’t have to carry everything alone. Just as a surgeon is needed to stitch deep physical wounds, a therapist can help us process and heal trauma. If you are having a hard time letting go, consider reaching out to a trauma therapist for support.
Healing Takes Time and Commitment
You probably heard the saying time heals all wounds. If this statement is true, then it means the healing doesn’t happen overnight. Some experiences can take a lifetime to heal. I’m not saying this to discourage you but to help you keep things in perspective. Healing is a process that requires patience and commitment. How committed are you to healing your trauma? Some days are going to be tough, but are you willing to persevere to get to your breakthrough? Because on the other side of the pain is the power to overcome it.
The Power of Connection
While healing starts within, the relationships we have can significantly impact our healing journey. When you think about any painful experiences, who did you need, and what did you need at that moment? While we can’t change the past, we can learn from it. Sometimes, our past teaches us what we need by highlighting what we didn’t have. You probably learned from your past what your needs are, what boundaries to have, and what you truly desire. Now, you can use this insight to cultivate relationships that support your well-being. There’s no better feeling than having what you wanted in the past right now.
A Word of Encouragement
If you are reading this post, I want to say I am proud of you. The fact that you are ready to heal is a sign of how brave you are. If you’re not ready yet, I hope you will get there one day. I’ve been on both ends and have immense empathy for people who are on the journey and who aren’t quite ready yet. On the healing journey, I hope that you remember to express yourself, allow others to support you, and be patient with yourself.