
Relationships can bring happiness to many people, but they can become unhealthy when a person defines their identity by who they are dating. It is important to know who you are apart from who you are with. When you lose yourself in relationships, it can indicate codependency. Instead, it is essential to have interdependence to maintain a harmonious relationship. You can achieve this by having a solid sense of self, knowing your values, having goals, and establishing open communication.
Codependency in Relationships
When you rely on others for your sense of self or well-being, this is known as codependency. Some signs to look out for include people-pleasing, low self-esteem, emotional reactivity, poor boundaries, ineffective communication, and no goals or aspirations outside the relationship. Who you are and what you need matters. Before you consider filling someone else’s cup, fill yours first. Fill your cup with your interests, goals, needs, and wants.
People who struggle with codependency do not have a strong sense of self. They believe a relationship gives them an identity. When their relationship is going well, they are happy. But when the relationship isn’t going well, they question their self-worth. The key to self-worth is understanding it is not something you earn; it is something you realize. It is important to recognize that your worth is innate. Who you are as you are is enough.
Identify Who You Are
You can develop a solid sense of self by making time for your hobbies. Often, your partner might not like the same things you do. Instead of giving up that hobby, consider doing it with friends or family. When you continue doing things you enjoy in a relationship, you are demonstrating healthy interdependence.
It is also important to have goals and know your core values. The values you have can help you to identify what matters to you. When you know what matters to you, you stay connected to who you are. When you are interdependent, you are responsible for your happiness. You recognize that your values serve as a guide to living happily and authentically. Additionally, setting goals that align with your values can help you to self-actualize. When you are able to become better, the relationship you are in is likely to strengthen.
Establish Open Communication
Lastly, it is crucial to any healthy relationship that you communicate your needs. When both partners can express themselves and support one another, this is interdependence. While your partner may not be responsible for your feelings, they can influence them. In a healthy relationship, you have boundaries with your partner and can communicate when they have done something hurtful. A healthy relationship is not about blaming them for how you feel or hiding your emotions. It is about giving each other a safe space to express yourself.